


Glimpse

by 0atis



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/F, Family Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0atis/pseuds/0atis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana has everything she ever wanted, the house, the car, the clothes yet she is alone on Christmas Eve. Then she wakes to find everything is different. Everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Santana opened the door to her apartment and threw her keys on the small table by the door and felt a rush of satisfaction as she always did when greeted with the view her penthouse offered. She moved to her spacious living room that overlooked all of Boston, which was decked out in its best holiday colors, and stared out at the lights flickering to life in the approaching twilight.

The phone rang snapping her out of her brief moment of calm. With a growl she snatched it off the end table.

"What?" she snapped.

"Don't 'what?' me Lopez you know what," came Puck's exasperated voice.

"I said I would take care of it didn't I?" she said, irritated.

"You did, and it's still not taken care of."

"I haven't even seen him since last week! Besides it's Christmas Eve he won't be able to do anything for you until January anyway."

"Santana I really, really want to land this gig," he pleaded.

"No you really, really want to sleep with your potential co-stars."

There was a silence, "Yeah, but I also need the work."

She laughed, "Really? So the second house you bought in Hawaii was all poor people money?"

"No, ok I'm doing fine, but please understand how bad I want this. This movie could launch my career to new heights."

"Noah you are already a superstar and to boot Slayers sounds like it is going to be one steaming pile of shit, but because you are my best friend I will put in a good word with Miles. Like I already said I would," she put extra emphasis on her last sentence.

"You are the best! So how are you spending Christmas?"

She shrugged to no one, "Just going to stay in, don't feel like watching all of the sappy specials on TV so I think I'll just live it up with some herbs and truly chill if you follow."

"You aren't going to Miles' family's house?"

"You are aware we aren't married and his mother would skin me for living with her son out of wedlock."

"I think you're exaggerating."

"No, she called me on the phone and told me that exactly. She doesn't get that neither of us wants to be married, it's a practice for only the most insecure of people."

"What about your mom?"

"What about her? I'm not a child I don't need my mommy on Christmas, I'm a grown woman and anything I want I have Miles buy."

"You should at least call her, you know in the Christmas spirit."

"You're Jewish what do you care about the Christmas spirit?"

"I mean I don't celebrate it like everyone else does, but I can appreciate the idea of having a time of the year to be with the people that matter. Keep in touch with family and friends and stuff."

"Well my mom doesn't approve of me living like this so it would just be an argument, and I am talking to my friend now so I consider my bases covered."

He sighed heavily, "Fine. Thanks again for the recommendation in advance. Don't forget Santana!"

"Bye Puckerman," she said sweetly as she hung up the phone.

She looked at it and shook her head, he was a great guy, and was truly her best friend, but whenever she talked to him it made her feel bad. As a result of this she rarely saw him in person and kept phone conversations short. Though deep down knew why it hurt her so to speak with him, it was because he reminded her of what she had torn down to build her life the way she wanted it...

That bit of introspection had the door slammed on it the moment it was cracked, she refused to go down that road ever again. Instead she thought of calling Miles, but the thought didn't really appeal to her. He wasn't a person she had ever looked to for any sort of comfort or love, their relationship was one of convenience and it was truly convenient. He was rarely home for more than a day at a time and then he would travel the world on business trips retuning with piles of gifts for her. They had occasional sex which was more a way to pass the time between two people who had nothing in common than it was about pleasure. She knew he saw other women and was sure he knew she saw other men. Her only job was to be on his arm at any and all events where he needed an escort and occasionally pretend to be his wife if there was an investor that had strong convictions about that type of thing. She lived the life of luxury and didn't have to do a damn thing, she had her own money, actually she had more than enough to live on thanks to various lucrative investments, but she relished the idea of not having to pay for anything. Furthermore she could get favors for her friends, like Puck who wanted in on a movie Miles was the financial backer for. Her life was everything she had known it would be, though she did wish, on nights like this, that there was someone she could rely on to keep her from feeling like a leper on Valentine's Day.

She took a shower and changed into her most revealing negligee for no reason other than she looked hot in it and wanted anyone peaking in with binoculars from any of the surrounding buildings to know it as well. She sat on the couch, wine glass in hand, wine bottle ready for refills, and attempted to watch television, but as she expected there was nothing on but sappy holiday nonsense so she moved to the bookshelf full of movies she never watched. Her fingers danced across the spines of the DVD cases trying to find one with the appropriate mix of horror and comedy to balance out all the Christmas shining in at her from the window. She stopped on one that had no label, her hand hovered over it for a moment then she pulled it out curiously. It was a blank DVD case and when she opened it she found an unlabeled DVD. She would have written it off as a poorly hidden sex tape, but Miles kept those on display in a spare room off the bedroom, he had no shame when it came to those types of things so what in the world was this?

She pushed it into the DVD player and sat on the couch, waiting in anticipation knowing that in all likelihood it would be something simple, like a presentation that got mixed in with the movies or, worse yet, blank.

The first thing she saw was a man sitting in an empty room, he had a strong face, striking pale green eyes, and snowy white hair that accented his pale completion. He was looking into the camera as if he was staring through it at her. Then he began to speak slowly and deliberately, "You do realize this is sad right? This right here, what you are doing is sad."

Santana frowned. Was he talking to her? No, that was absurd. Since Miles was backing Slayers maybe he had requested a few of the auditions. Yes, that made far more sense.

"I've seen people in denial before, but you are like the poster child of repressed feelings." The man continued, "The best part is that you have convinced yourself that this is okay, that all of this," he gestured to the empty space around him, but from her position Santana couldn't help but feel it was aimed at the inside of her home, "is okay. It's not, you're not. It hurts, and you are screaming so loud even I could hear it. I hardly ever interfere like this, but I see a rare opportunity here to pull off a two birds with one stone move. So sleep."

And she did, better than she ever had in her life.

Santana woke up immediately knowing something was wrong, an intuitive function also found in employees who wake up knowing they are three hours late for work without even glancing at a clock. She had been on the couch last she could recall, now she was in a bed and, from the somewhat suffocated feeling she was getting from her legs and arms, wearing different pajamas. To her right there was a slight shuffle and she relaxed a bit; Miles had come home. He had seen her passed out on the couch and had brought her to bed… and for some reason changed her out of her negligee, maybe he felt he couldn't get any sleep if she was wearing it. She smiled into her pillow, and sat up. Then her mouth went dry. Who's house was this?

She scrunched up her face trying to remember what the last thing she had done was. She remembered the weird video and then… nothing. The wine! She must have drank it all and blacked out… that didn't follow either, it took more than a bottle of wine to floor her. Okay she drank the wine and decided to finish off their liquor cabinet. That made more sense, so she drank a ton and left the penthouse to come here. Where was here though?

The person next to her shuffled again and Santana nearly leapt out of her skin, she had forgotten about the person she was now quite sure wasn't Miles. Whoever it was had curled up under the covers and she reached for them feeling a weird sort of fear, she had no earthly clue who it was she had decided she had to see on Christmas Eve, or moreover what sort of person would have seen her in a clearly blasted state and slept with her. Her fingers gripped the fluffy peach comforter to reveal the mystery. At first her brain didn't even register it, she knew this person, quite well but instead of recognition the information just read; beautiful, blonde.

After a blank moment her brain rebooted, it was Brittany.

Her heart did odd flip flops seeing the other woman for the first time in…how long had it even been? High school. So roughly ten years… How had this happened? Brittany was in Boston?

Just as her brain began to feel less like buzzing bees and the walls slowed their spinning the doors burst open and two little girls ran in, one jumped on the bed screaming, "It's Christmas, it's Christmas! Wake up!"

Brittany was forced to when the girl dove right onto her stomach, she sat up with a loud "Oof!" and grabbed the offender.

"Good morning Violet," she said happily and gave the giggling child a kiss.

Santana found a peculiar sense of peace in the numbness that had taken over, she watched this exchange with the blank expression of one watching a movie that had yet to explain itself. Though in her mind a steady chant of 'What the Fuck' was being blasted. She noticed the girl called Violet looked no older than eight and was a miniature version of Brittany, blonde hair, blue eyes and a warm infectious smile. The other girl was… Santana turned her head to try and spot where the other one was only to realize she was standing right next to the bed staring back at her with a level gaze. Santana would have screamed if her lips were working. The other girl was maybe a year younger than the first and looked like… well like her… a lot like her. The main difference was the child had hazel eyes, however she had the same complexion and hair and her bone structure was identical to Santana's in her youth. THIS, more than any combined number of events that had happened so far, unnerved her. It spurred her into motion, she jumped out of bed panting in a rising panic and began backing towards the door.

"San? Honey what's wrong?" Brittany asked, real concern in her eyes.

Santana turned and bolted out of the door, she found herself in an unfamiliar hallway and sprinted down it into a living room that had a huge Christmas tree rising up to the ceiling surrounded by presents. She hardly gave it a glance as she spotted a door on the far side and dashed for it, the door burst open and she was suddenly very aware of just how underdressed she was for the outdoors in the winter. She was wearing a flannel pajama set, no shoes and it was snowing hard, all of the houses were covered although the roads were passable, but just barely. The thing that really caught her attention was that the city was gone, there were no skyscrapers here or in the distance that she could see off into due to the ground being level for miles. She wasn't in Boston at all. She quickly dashed back inside and looked around frantically.

Brittany peaked in at her looking concerned, "San you're scaring the kids," she whispered coming closer, "What's wrong?"

Santana found a large coat hanging not too far from the door and scrambled to put it on and jammed her feel into the first pair of sneakers that looked like they would fit her.

"Brittany where am I?" she asked stopping her mad scramble suddenly.

Brittany frowned in the way she did when she felt she was about to give a depressingly wrong answer to an obvious question, "At home?"

"No!" she said sharply, "Where are we? What state? Where in the United States are we?"

She smiled, "Where we have always been silly, Ohio."

Santana's mouth fell open, "Lima, Ohio? Are you fucking KIDDING ME?"

"Language," Brittany said seriously glancing over her shoulder at the two girls who were now leaning out of the hallway to see what was wrong.

"I need to borrow your car."

"But it's Christmas. We have to open presents together…"

"Brittany I need you to loan me your car like right now. I don't know how I got here or what you think happened last night but-" she slid her hand down her face, this was a pointless discussion she didn't even know what happened, Brittany probably understood better than she did at this moment, "Just give 'em."

The taller woman looked frightened and hurt as she moved into the kitchen, grabbed a purse off the counter, and handed her a set of keys, "But why don't you just use your car?" she asked as she handed them over, "We have to visit my family later and I know you don't like me driving yours."

"Wha…?"

_How fucking drunk was I?_

"I mean the keys are in your pocket." She said shyly.

Santana reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out an abnormally large key ring with about ten keys attached. She couldn't think of ten things she owned that were locked. The ring did include a car key however and regardless of whether or not this was something she had done in a drunken stupor that was reaching legendary status or if this was to some random persons car she didn't care. She took it and flew out the door. She dashed to the driveway to see two cars that were both somehow the exact opposite of hers.

"Dammit Brittany," she growled, leave it to that woman to mess up something simple like knowing an expensive Ferrari from a broken down Honda Accord and Geo Prizm. It was relieving, however, to know she hadn't somehow shipped her car here overnight. She jammed the key into the Geo and found it didn't work so she dashed to the Honda, unlocked it, and backed it swiftly onto the road thankfully leaving that nightmare behind. Though to say she hadn't wanted to stay in Brittany's company would be a lie she had apparently spent too much time there already. And who were those kids? Who would trust Brittany with children? Of all her pets only one had survived to the one week mark!

She drove quickly and recklessly down the empty streets and soon found herself in familiar territory. She knew exactly where she was, not only was she in Lima, but she was close to home or what used to be home. Brittany was one daffy woman, but maybe her mother could help, since she had clearly come here to resolve some things maybe her mom would be able to tell her what had gone down. She drove with new determination and soon wound up in the last place she had wanted to be on Christmas.

Parking sloppily she ran up to the door pounding wildly, praying that her mother was actually home.

The door opened and there stood Carla Lopez looking alarmed and then confused, "Santana? What are you doing here? I'm coming to see you remember?"

She had opened her mouth to say all the things that had been slamming around in her head since she woke up, but when she heard her mother the only thing she said was, "Huh?"

"Where are Violet and Ella?"

"Who?"

Her mother gave her an incredulous look, "Come on in, mija."

She walked in the door feeling far more confused than she had been all day. She immediately smelled a big feast being cooked and felt her stomach growl. She ignored it, her current situation took priority, she had to get this mess straightened out. As she followed her mother to the kitchen she found she had to fight off waves on nostalgia as well of memories of Brittany that had been laid open like a wound.

"Mom how did I get here? Do you remember?"

"You drove," she laughed as she bustled around the kitchen tending to the various parts of the meal she was preparing.

Stupid answers, she expected them from Brittany, but not her mother, "I'm serious how did I get here from Boston?"

Her mother gave her an odd look, "Boston?"

"Yes! Boston! Where I live!" she shouted, feeling her fuse shorten with every non-answer she got.

"Shouldn't you be home with Brittany and the girls? Why are you here asking about Boston?"

"I don't know who those kids ARE! And I haven't seen Brittany since high school mom! Last night I was at my penthouse IN BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS watching a movie on Christmas Eve, next thing I know I'm somehow here and everyone is out to make me think my whole life there NEVER HAPPENED!" she yelled her chest heaving from rage and panic.

Her mother nodded in placating manner, "I see. Well, all the same, you worked so hard to get everyone's presents in the house without Brittany seeing so I think you really should go home and enjoy opening them with your family. Whatever this is will pass."

"My famil… are you listening to me at all?"

"Yes Santana you are from Boston, you lived there until last night when you somehow booked a flight from Massachusetts to Ohio on Christmas Eve, flew here in a few short hours, found Brittany, who you have not seen in years, and convinced her to marry you, move into a house with you and raise two random children. Oh yes and I am somehow in on it," she said simply.

Her mouth fell open, when it was said like that it made her story seem even crazier. Let alone the children and the house and the rest of it, getting a flight anywhere from Boston on Christmas Eve while off your ass drunk was flat out impossible. Even if she had called Miles and requested he ready a private plane it was _still_ impossible. Her mind stopped it's crazed buzzing and settled into a lull of disbelief, there was no way…

"I know you have been feeling a little restless lately, but this is going a bit far."

"And you're okay with this? With me and her?" she asked still stunned.

"You know how I feel…"

"For my sake pretend I don't."

Her mother gave her a look and shook her head, "At first I didn't approve…"

"Figures," she snorted.

"But then I saw how happy you were when you were with her. When I saw you two I was watching you be happy like I hadn't seen since you where little. What mother wouldn't want that kind of happiness for her daughter?"

Her mother continued to pull things out of the oven and wrap them in plastic as Santana stood there, still numb, trying to soak it all in.

"Come on, help me load all this food into the van and we can go back to your home together."

She did as she was asked without a word, her mind was coming up with feeble attempts at logically explaining what had happened. The food loaded, she followed her mother back into the unknown part of town where she shared her life with Brittany and their two kids. The thought made her head hurt. She hated children and she had worked her ass off not to be gay, she hadn't even slept with women back home even though Miles wouldn't have given a flying fuck either way. She had buried that part of herself deep down next to every feeling she had ever felt for Brittany and now here it was, all on display.

TBC...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You may have noticed this is a take on a demi-old Christmas film, I would be shocked if anyone saw, much less, remembered it. If you do then you have a vague idea of where I am going with this. I am also aware that gay/lesbian marriage is not legal in Ohio, but hell a DVD can't transport you through time/space so lets just let that be part of the fiction XP


	2. Chapter 2

She pulled into the driveway, and got out of her car, _THIS is my car?_ feeling as lost as she had ever felt. As she moved to help her mother unload her vehicle the girl she recalled was Violet burst out of the doors and dove at her, hugging her around the leg in a vice grip. Panicked she looked to her mother who was chuckling.

"Why'd you leave? Santa left you gifts!"

"Had to go get food," she said stiffly, showing the tray in her hands.

"Don't leave anymore please it's Christmas!"

"Yeah alright," she tried to walk inside, but the girl stayed attached to her leg, "Um, kid I can't walk."

"I can't let go, you might run away again!"

"If I promise I won't will you let go?"

"Mmmm… Okay," she said and stayed put looking up at Santana with her bright blue eyes.

"Well…"

"You have to promise."

Ah, she caught the technicality, the child was clever, maybe the kids were adopted, "I promise I won't run away again."

The girl let go and dashed after Carla firing off greetings and questions about what she had made to eat. Santana followed them inside and put the food down feeling so out of place it was almost dizzying. When she turned around she was face to face with the adult sized Violet.

"You could have told me you went to get your mom," said Brittany.

Santana was going to say something, but the other woman moved close and kissed her deeply, she couldn't pretend she didn't enjoy it, but at the same time she felt panic. Her mother was _right_ there.

She grabbed Brittany's arms and pulled her away, "Whoa, hold it," she whispered, "I don't think we should…uh… do this here…" she said eyeballing her mother who had either not noticed or had pretended not to. She knew the elder Lopez knew about them, but it was a bit too soon for her to kiss someone she had secretly loved for years in front of her mother and two children who's origin she still hadn't narrowed down.

The second of which was standing eerily close giving that scary stare, "Thanks for the gifts mom," she said still staring hard at Santana.

When she said this Brittany tensed up and looked almost pleadingly at Santana, for her part Santana found this whole entire setup out of whack so she just nodded, "You're welcome."

For some reason the girl's glare intensified and she walked away, Brittany let out her breath in a low hiss, "Thanks, San we really should be nice to each other on Christmas."

Santana was a little confused, what was she supposed to say? 'Scram you little shit I only bought them because I had a leftover gift card to Toys-R-Us!'?

"No problem," she said not knowing what else to interject.

She slid away from Brittany to sit next to her mother who took one look at her and said, "Santana go change into something presentable."

She was going to argue that she was always presentable, but then looked at her safety orange and navy blue down coat, flannel pants and old running shoes with no socks.

"I'll be back," she said and returned to the room this nightmare had started in.

She opened the closet door and had to suppress a whimper, it was filled with none on the luxurious items she had come to know and love. She wasn't even sure if there was a single designer label item in the whole damn bunch. She looked through the clothes seeing things that seemed to be distantly in her taste, but none of it really spoke to her. The dresser drawers provided a similar issue so in the end, since she figured it was all crap anyway, she settled on a t-shirt, blue jeans and a decent pair of sneakers.

The thought of heading back out into the living room didn't appeal to her so she moved back over to the closet and opened it. She searched the floor for the one thing that was always in closets of even remotely happy families and found what she was looking for after a little digging. Underneath piles of shoe boxes in the back of the closet was a photo album. She pulled the large tome out of its resting place, at first she just held it a little afraid of what she would find. One mental talk down and a deep breath later she opened the cover.

The first several pages were filled with pictures of her and Brittany at various locations in Ohio, both of them still in their teens. She could only assume that these were dates because the locations were unremarkable. Her own smiling face shone out at her from a time long ago in a past that she didn't remember. There were pictures of her graduation, Brittany hugging her excitedly and there she stood looking aloof in the way she did when she didn't want anyone to know she was overjoyed. There were more pictures of them together after that, but one in particular horrified her. They were clearly at a party, probably in college, and making out like it was nobody's business. There were several people surrounding them looking at the spectacle in amusement and arousal, she felt horrific shame for her past self. Clearly other Santana (she just couldn't face the fact that the person in these pictures was her) hadn't worried about her reputation and look what it got her; a shitty house in Ohio and two garbage cars that wouldn't equal a decent one if you physically combined them. This was precisely why she had played by the rules, rocking the boat got you nowhere. She turned the page to see, to her renewed horror, wedding photos. They had worn formal evening wear instead of trying to tackle two brides dresses or having one of them dress as the groom, thank goodness for small blessings, but this was still out of hand. There were pages and pages dedicated to it, but Santana skipped through them all, she just plain wasn't ready to ingest that. The fact that she would get married at all was almost enough to make her slam the book shut right then. She skipped ahead to the back and saw pictures of Brittany in a hospital bed with a newborn baby in her arms. Underneath the picture was the name **Violet**. Santana flipped through some more and found another picture of Brittany in a hospital holding another infant, however in this one she was kissing the other Santana and underneath it was the name **Ella**.

"If you want to put more pictures in we have to use the new one remember? That one is full," said Brittany's voice from behind her.

She would have jumped straight up and out of her skin if Brittany hadn't immediately wrapped her arms around her waist and nestled her chin in the crook of Santana's neck.

"NoIwasjustlooking," She mumbled nervously.

Brittany laughed a tittering laugh that made her spine tingle, "What's with you today? You're acting like my dad after a good bar fight."

Santana gave some thought into figuring out how the two could possibly be alike and decided to let it go, "I was just trying to straighten things out in my head," she said quietly.

Brittany stood, removed the photo album from her hands and sat in her lap, "Maybe I can help," she said pushing Santana into a kiss that made her realize the one greeting had been quite restrained.

Given where she was, given all that had happened so far she couldn't think of a reason not to allow it. Her hand reached the back of Brittany's neck, pulling the blonde closer, deepening their kiss. The feelings that had been buried for years were now totally exposed, her body relaxed as the tension from trying to keep those thoughts away flew out the window. The feel of her hair, the taste of her mouth, all of it brought back the feelings of an almost scary obsession for the other woman. For ages she had done her best not to think about these things and now her defenses were down.

One of her hands cautiously drifted up the loose button down shirt Brittany was wearing and towards the soft mounds on her chest when she felt something. Someone was staring at her, she knew this as surely as being tapped on the shoulder. She broke the kiss and looked over at door; Ella was standing there giving her a Children of the Corn stare.

"Whoa!"

Brittany laughed and turned Santana's head away from the door, "You really are weird today."

"But didn't you see-" she pointed to the door only to find it empty.

"See what?" she asked seriously looking at the indicated spot.

"Should have named her Wednesday Adams," Santana grumbled, maneuvered Brittany off her lap and stood, "Brit you know what? I'm starving. Let's just get ready to eat."

"Not yet! We have to wait for-"

Just then there was an obnoxiously loud knock on the door in the rhythm of the Duck Tales theme. Brittany squealed in excitement and ran to open the door, Santana followed still a little shaken by what had just happened and looking around warily for Ella.

The door opened and in rushed, go figure, more children, three boys about the same ages as Violet. Santana hoped beyond hope that these weren't also her problem somehow because the minute they stepped in the door the place exploded in sound. The boys, Violet and Ella, who had morphed in from somewhere in the house, began to talk animatedly about the things they had gotten for Christmas and showing off whatever was on hand. Santana was so busy watching the children she missed the entrance of the rest of the new arrivals however a familiar voice snapped her out of her trance.

"Yo Santana quit being all hardcore and say hi to your main man!"

Her heart leapt with joy as she turned to see Puck and… Quinn standing at the door. The happiness was replaced with the unease she continually felt when things were wildly out of place. Quinn was standing there with a smile on her face holding a little girl that couldn't have been more than four. The last she had heard of Quinn Fabray, the ex-cheerleader was a lawyer in New York, they had met briefly the year before. She had been her normal uppity self and Santana had flaunted all of her unearned wealth with a sort of euphoric pride. They had a brief quasi polite conversation before they had gone their separate ways glad to be rid of each other. She had never said anything about children, but then maybe she had been embarrassed about it. No, none of this fit, the woman she was looking at now wasn't that Quinn, this woman apparently had four kids and was damn pleased about it. She looked at Santana with a warm greeting smile and none of the malice they had always had towards each other.

As she walked over, Quinn handed Puck the child she was carrying and Santana made a connection. They were together! Puck and Quinn were together these were their kids, a quick hand scan showed them both to be wearing wedding rings. Yes! That meant that Puck could right now be in the middle of the same nightmare she was living! They could work out how to get the fuck back home and living like superstars, but as she approached she saw none of the uncertainty or fear that she knew would have been there if Puckasaurus had woken up next to Quinn with four kids. So she hugged him and exchanged pleasantries with his wife. They prepared the food and sat down to eat at, what Santana thought was, an abysmally small table, and talked. The kids were allowed to eat in front of the television as they inhaled their food, she would have liked to have joined them to avoid the trials of adult conversation, if Ella wasn't so damn creepy. Puck and Quinn occasionally fired a question about her life at her that she had no idea how to answer, luckily Brittany was so excited she answered them all for her, all she had to do was nod and go 'Uh-huh'. She learned that she had taken a few weeks off work before the Christmas break due to some sort of injury, she had no idea what it was she did for a living and decided it would be better to ask someone privately later. Brittany had apparently cared for her that whole time and said she was going to miss having her home so much. So whatever her job was it was slightly dangerous and had her gone most of the day. Great. However she also discovered that she loved her job so she supposed that was something to look forward to, though this was information obtained through Brittany... By way of careful listening she gathered that the boys names were Joseph, Caleb and Aaron, and the girl was Abby. Hearing this Santana couldn't help, but wonder why Brittany's (still too early to call them hers) kids names were so vastly different. Ella she supposed she could understand, but Violet was sort of out of left field. More small talk and she found that Puck owned his own bar that, as best she could tell, was left to him from a dead relative, but he had managed to make it profitable. Quinn was an editor for a local paper which Santana thought was a bit hilarious, she sort of wished other Quinn could see this.

After lunch her mother took the time to bestow the grandmotherly gifts of clothes and cash to all the children which every one of them was elated over, though it was mainly the cash that sparked this reaction. Puck unloaded some gifts from his car for Ella and Violet, and the better part of an hour was spent listening to Violet thank him and Quinn for her new doll. Ella gave an appropriate and quiet thanks for the leather case to hold her new compass that was apparently a gift from Brittany. Santana thought that a ridiculous gift for a child, but then again what did she know about her? Maybe it was perfect, when she was little all she had wanted one year was a Little Mermaid lunchbox.

Once that was over, the adults exchanged their gifts, luckily Brittany knew where they were and who they were to, then they all got ready to go to Brittany's family's house. Everyone piled into their cars and took the snow covered road carefully to the Pierce residence.

When they arrived it was the same madness all over again with greetings from people she hadn't seen in a decade. She exchanged pleasantries of which she meant none, mingling with people who ALL seemed to have shared an inside joke with her none of which she remembered. Brittany's dad, Richard, talked about how glad he was to see her up and about again and asked if she had used his rehabilitation tips. She said yes, she had no idea what those would have been. Brittany's mom, Faith asked her confidentially about her relationship with Ella, she almost slipped and said 'Who Satan?' but caught herself at the last second and assured her that they were getting along fine. Even as she said this the child in question was watching her around a corner with dark eyes. Her sister Hailey was eager to know if they were going to have any more children soon and Santana shook her head vigorously, she didn't care what other Santana and Brittany had agreed on, this was already two too many. More of the Pierce's guests arrived and all unfortunately knew Santana so more conversations were flopped through. Almost an hour into this debacle she saw Puck through the ever thickening crowd and he gave her a quick head nod that she knew to mean 'follow me'.

She gladly ended her conversation with a couple who seemed very intent on talking to her about cheerleading, as if she were into that anymore, and followed him out of the living room and into a door off the hall. They walked down a long flight of stairs in the dark until Puck flipped a switch. It was beautiful, it was a private fully furnished room in the basement with several lazy boys circling a 60 inch flat screen television. Santana wanted to hug him; privacy and distraction, he always knew what she needed.

"You were looking a little stressed. Surprised you didn't pop down here sooner," he said opening the mini-fridge next to the television, pulling out a six pack of beer and handing her one.

She took it and took a long swig, "I would have if I had known it was here!" she said sitting in one of the stupidly plush recliners.

Puck stared at her for a moment, "Of course you know it's here…we renovated this room remember?"

Santana felt that uncomfortable squirm again, he seemed to have already written it off as he sat down and turned on the TV to find something on.

"Awesome! Rudolf, a true rags to bitches story."

The beer was like an anchor in her hand, something solid and unmoving keeping her from running out of this place screaming. Every time she felt like she might have a grasp on things something slipped, she had helped renovate the Pierce's basement? When and how? She knew jack shit about renovation… Wait was that her job? Oh no… she thought desperately. Finally she decided to risk talking to someone, this was Puck after all, no matter what crazy parallel universe she entered he was still her best friend.

"Noah?" she said, using his first name like she did when she wanted to indicate that what she had to say was serious.

"Yeah?" he answered looking concerned.

"I… I don't even know how to say this…"

Seeing the look in her eyes he turned off the television and gave her his full attention, "What is it?"

"You have to swear to not tell anyone especially Quinn or Brittany, not until I've worked this all out," he nodded vigorously, "I don't remember anything," she finished simply.

"What? What don't you remember?"

"Anything any of this!" she shouted hysterically, then suddenly looked up at the door fearing she had been overheard.

He shook his head, "That door was built by Puck no sounds in or out," a suggestive smile crept over his face.

How could he not have changed even slightly living with Quinn? At least he is taking this news well.

"Look the last thing I remember is high school… I think. Like everything between then and now is gone, before this morning I have no memories since the last time I saw Brittany and that was at prom."

"Really?" he said his face serious, "Don't you think you should tell a doctor or something?"

"No because I think this is a dream… or my other life was… something is wrong…" she said trying not to hyperventilate while telling her tale, "The last thing I remember, at senior prom I…" her heart writhed with the memory. It was one of her deepest darkest secret moments and she was endlessly ashamed of it. Even now, here, where all of that had been erased it was still a wound that had never healed. "I… Brittany had just broken up with Artie over…something and she found me and we danced. She told me about them and how she wanted to be with me and I…" she ran her hands roughly through her hair trying to will herself to finish the sentence, "I told her I never really loved her ever and I didn't want to be associated with an outright lesbian like her."

Puck gave a low long whistle, "Well that's not how it went down, if it had…man that would have broken her, especially since she broke up with Artie for you."

His words made it all that much more painful, "But I did and I lived my life after that, I never looked back. I just left here and moved to California for a while and moved from man to man for money. A few years later I moved to Massachusetts with my lover Miles Rowan and I lived in a penthouse overlooking the city and drove a Ferrari and bought everything I ever wanted and I loved it. I still do."

Puck was now wearing a slight smirk, "I think I figured it out, it must have been when you hurt your leg at work, maybe you jarred your brain on the landing because this isn't a dream. I can tell you that out of all the days that have been since high school we have spent most of 'em hanging out, and it was definitely you. Plus Miles Rowan is like that billionaire guy who is buying up property and businesses and selling them at a profit. I only know him because he had a mild interest in my place for a minute and you would know him from that too. Dude he travels like constantly, you would be one lonely woman living in one place waiting for him. I think you just jumbled things up a bit from the accident, it is weird that it would only be affecting you now... You should probably go see a head doctor pretty soon though for reals."

She nodded that could be possible, but she hadn't just forgotten she had replaced every major event in her life with a whole different one, "I suppose. Though there is something that doesn't make any sense. I see how different my life is with Brittany, but why are you so displaced?"

"How do you mean?"

"You, the Noah Puckerman I know, is an international movie star-"

"What? Rock on Lopez! Way to cast the part!"

"But you aren't married to Quinn, you aren't married to anyone. You just sort of fly around sleeping with the casts of various films, television shows and occasional super models. I don't think you've even seen Quinn since I last saw Brittany."

"Seriously I want to visit this dream world of yours. But honestly that makes sense. At prom, in the real version of events, you accepted Brittany's offer. I mean it wasn't like you guys made out on the dance floor or anything dramatic like that, would have been nice… anyway I knew she was going to ask you and I sort of pushed her to do it cause you need her, ya know? When I saw someone that was as stubborn as you could ease up for love it sort of…" he hid his face in his beer, "encouraged me to talk to Quinn."

"Okay then answer me this why in the hell do we have kids?"

"Oh!" he laughed, "Cause you're pussy whipped."

Santana frowned, "What?"

"Well you told me back when we were in college-"

She held up a hand, "Hold it. We were in college together? I thought you were done after high school why were you there?"

His beer went back up to his face suspiciously, "Cause I'm pussy whipped too… anyway Britt was bugging you about it so you promised her you would agree to having children if she could wait until after you graduated. You said she would have forgotten all about it cause it was still like two years till that was going to happen, but she didn't forget. You really tried to talk her out of it, but she was hell bent on it."

"We didn't have more kids at some point that she left somewhere did we?" she asked gravely.

"No, as it turned out she's a super momma. She is one hundred percent lucid when it comes to her kids, everything else may float over her head, but she would never let anything happen to them. I guess it's instinct or something."

"Who are their fathers?"

He shrugged, "Sperm bank hell if I know."

"Really? Because Ella… well she looks like me doesn't she… or is that just me?"

At the mention of the child he sat up looking serious, "Ah, that. Okay so you guys have one kid and Brittany is like slam dunking the stay at home mom thing right? So she wants to have another baby, but this time she wants your egg fertilized and put in her."

Santana's face fell a little, "What..." she said in a flat tone.

"Yeah you said the same thing when she brought it up."

"How would she even know that was an option?"

"Well you know Brittany gets most of her information from television? She watched Baby Momma… anyway you were against it and you really didn't want to have kids in the first place, but she sort of guilt tripped you into it and it all went fine as you know and Ella's a bright healthy girl…"

"But?"

"But at some point you find that you don't like her much."

 _No duh she is a creepy fuck,_ "Why?"

"You never really told me but my guess is because she is so friggin much like you. I mean she is like a mini Santana for real. Violet looks like Brittany and is carefree, but that's pretty much where the similarities end. You and Ella are creepily alike maybe that bothered you. I mean like you are never mean to her or anything but… I dunno you can get pretty perturbed by her quickly for things you let Violet get away with."

She nodded trying to imagine herself going through all of this, then another question surfaced, "Do you know why we picked Violet for the name of our first born? I mean it doesn't really sound like something either of us would go for."

"Oh it was a compromise, Brittany wanted to name her Purple and you didn't want your child to be bullied to death in middle school."

_There it is, and the name puzzle is solved._

"Where do I work?"

"At McKinley as the cheerleading coach."

Santana had honestly thought there was nothing that could shock her more than waking up with kids and a wife miles from home. This would be the very thing that topped it.

"Please tell me that was a bad joke."

He gave her a sideways look, "What? You freaking love it! Plus you are well on your way to beating Sue's consecutive nationals winning record."

"Who CARES! You mean to tell me that not only did I fail to escape this town I failed to escape HIGH SCHOOL?" she downed the rest of the beer in one go.

"Hey, chill out. You need to see a head doctor bad if you can't even remember how much pride you take in your work-"

"Pride?" she yanked on her off white shirt, "Look at how I'm dressed Puck! This isn't okay! My house and car are not okay! This is not something to be proud of! I am the replacement for the world's most evil coach of all time and making minimum wage in the process!"

"You aren't her replacement, you're her rival because she quit to harass Mr. Schue at his new job in Texas so she coaches there now, furthermore you make plenty thanks to private donations to your squad. Every year for the past five years you have stolen the trophy from Sue, I wouldn't be surprised if she put a bomb in your house she's so mad. You love it, I love it, Quinn loves it, your squad loves it and Brittany thinks you're a rock star. Whatever happened to your head you need to get it fixed because you have forgotten what you're about."

Her mouth was hanging open, "Pissing off Sue Sylvester? That's the highlight of my year? That's what I'm all about?"

"No," he said quietly, "You're about being the best at everything you do. Even before you're head got messed up I think you started to forget that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

The room was suddenly filled with noise as the door above them opened and Quinn shouted down, "Noah stop hiding down there! Come and talk to your mother before I kill her!" she snapped and slammed the door.

He sighed, gulped his beer and stood up, "Look Santana if you really have forgotten everything for good then maybe you can start fresh you know? There are a few things you need to reboot. You can start with Ella and finish with…" he stopped himself from saying something and started towards the stairs.

"With what?"

He looked a little sad when he looked at her, "Let's just say you really need to remember how much you love your wife and focus on that."

He left her alone in the basement to try and piece everything together, she was at the cusp of accepting that this was her life.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

After a day of exhausting exchanges and far too much food, television, and singing Santana said her goodbyes to her mother and the Pierces' and drove her newly acquired family home. Ella and Violet were dead asleep in the back, though Santana was pretty sure Ella was watching her despite the fact that her eyes were closed. If she pulled this same shit with other Santana she fully understood the woman's issue, but it was hard to grasp what her problem would be with her wife as Brittany was sitting next to her positively beaming.

"Something up?" she asked in a tone she hoped was casual.

"I'm just glad you were so nice today. You're normally kind of crabby at parties."

"Ah, I see." Wish _someone had told me sooner, I could have pulled that off easily._

"San?"

"Hmm?"

"Um, I know Hailey asked you about having more kids…"

 _Not ready for this, not ready for this,_ "She did, I just told her whatever to get her off my back, I don't really know yet." She said hoping that would pacify Brittany enough to drop the subject, Brittany smiled radiantly.

_Are you trying to beat Quinn's record why do you want more?_

"You know I love you right?" she said sweetly.

"Yeah," Santana replied, again not at a stage where she could just say something like that…especially not with Ella looking dead at her through the rear view mirror!

Santana swallowed a scream as she slammed on the breaks and spun around to see Ella back to being the peacefully sleeping princess. Violet on the other hand was rubbing her eyes trying to figure out what had jerked her out of her sleep.

"What happened?" Brittany yelped panicked.

Santana turned in her seat and stared straight ahead, "Don't tell me. You didn't see that either."

"See what?"

"S'what I thought," she grimbled and continued driving casting occasional glances at the dark haired girl in the back seat.

* * *

That night Santana felt more nervous in bed than she had on the night she lost her virginity. Brittany was in their bathroom chattering away about something Santana had deemed too insane to try and follow. She didn't know what to do with herself, she wasn't sure if she should be here at all. Should she do what Puck said and go to a doctor? Was she dreaming even now, or had she just woken after successfully sleepwalking for ten years? Unlikely. Realistically she should leave or at least make it known that she didn't remember diddly shit, but when she had her own mother thought she was being silly so she didn't see the reality of this situation making it through to Brittany. The other side of this was she wasn't rich or the envy of wicked Quinn Fabray, but she was the good friend of sweet normal Quinn Puckerman and still best friends with Noah, best of all the nastiness with Brittany never was. Her other life had been great and she still desperately wanted to go home, but if she had to be stuck in another reality her options could be worse.

Finally her significant other came out of the bathroom lazily brushing her hair still chattering away about… what was it now? Something to do with hot dogs vs dogs being hot, whatever, irrelevant. Santana was flat out hooked on her body, she hadn't really looked the other woman over all day and now in nothing but a flimsy night shirt that rode indecently high she could appreciate what it was that had brought them together in the first place. Even after two children she still had the same shape she had back when they were in school the only difference was now she was much more developed in all the right areas. She also noticed that Brittany's hair was much longer than she had remembered, it fell slightly below the shirt she wore. The taller woman continued to chatter animatedly until she climbed into the bed and turned off the light on the nightstand. Her mouth shut like someone had turned off the power.

The room fell into darkness and suddenly Santana felt silly, "Really you talk non-stop and then just quit when you hit the bed."

She sat up and gave a look that bordered on fearful, "I dunno you just have been getting kind of mad lately when I talk too much at bed time."

"Oh, well, maybe tonight we could talk."

"Great because I really want to tell you about my ideas for the Cheerios at Nationals!"

Santana couldn't help but smile at that, "Yes ok I would love to hear them, but I kind of wanted to ask you something."

"Anything!"

She seemed suspiciously excited about talking after dark, she suspected other Santana had found it endearing at first then obnoxious after a few years. Though looking at her face now she could not see ever being sick of it.

"Do you remember prom? Senior prom?"

"Of course, that's when we started officially dating." She said with a look of pride that could only belong to someone who was rarely asked questions they knew the answer to.

"Right, do you remember what it was that I said to you? When you told me you wanted to be with me?"

She moved in that unnervingly swift fashion she was so good at and pressed her forehead to Santana's, "You got very close like this and said 'I can't promise to be everything you deserve, but I will try harder than I have ever tried at anything to make you happy.' " She said softly.

 _I said that?_ "That's what I said alright."

Brittany didn't move from her position, their breaths mingling in the small space between them crating a charged atmosphere that had Santana's lips aching to touch the blonde's, and suddenly the closeness was too much.

Santana stood and stretched, "I'm thirsty. You thirsty? I'm going to get a drink of water," she said and sped out of the door.

The kitchen was dark and she almost destroyed her kidney on a counter corner, but she made it to the fridge and as she chugged down a bottled water she attempted to memorize her way to the couch because she could not go back in that room. She already knew what happened when she let go around Brittany, it went too far. Maybe she was a lesbian here in this life, if this even was life, but she wasn't back home. She couldn't let her time here set her up to be miserable in the real world, back in Boston where she really lived. Not here in fucking Lima. She had worked so hard to make everything perfect and it would stay that way, she was not going to settle for morphing into Sue Sylvester. She knew that part of her wanted to go back in that room and do all kinds in inappropriate things to her ex-lover, but she would restrain herself because those feelings had been buried before and they could be buried again. This life wasn't for her, she wouldn't let it be.

* * *

The next morning she woke to the feeling of eyes burning holes in her face. She opened hers to find Ella staring hard.

"It's morning," the girl said in an emotionless tone.

Any hope Santana had that going back to sleep would allow her to wake at home was quite suddenly dashed.

"So it is. Look what is with the staring?" she asked sitting up blearily.

"It's observation," she said and walked away.

Brittany walked in yawning and rubbing her eyes, "What's for breakfast San?"

"What?" she asked looking back at her.

_I'm the only person who works in this house and they expect me to cook?_

Violet came from her room mirroring Brittany's movements unconsciously, "There's no breakfast?" she asked still rubbing her eyes.

Santana stared blankly at her family and they stared back at her. She didn't know how to cook… they were all screwed.

Then Violet gave her the out she desperately needed, "Um, do you think we can have Lucky Charms?" she asked shyly.

"Of course," she said almost instantly.

Brittany seemed even more excited than Violet as they practically raced to the kitchen, Santana turned around to once again be confronted with Ella's humorless face.

"Lucky Charms?" she said raising one eyebrow.

"Would you rather have Fruit Loops?" _You creepy little gnome._

"After all that talk about eating right in the morning-"

She was cut off as Brittany, a spoon already sticking out of her mouth, scooped her up and carried her off to the table. Santana was of course grateful, but a little disturbed, Brittany seemed wary of her interactions with Ella. What was it she was afraid she'd do? Given that most of this seemed plausible it would be way out of character for her to beat her kids. True she really didn't like children but hitting them wasn't her style, adults on the other hand, that was her forte. She looked over the back of the couch as Brittany and Violet launched marshmallows into each other's mouths with their spoons. Ella just watched her darkly.

_Maybe I was sent here to save the world from the anti-Christ…_

After breakfast Santana got dressed in basic shirt and jeans because she just plain didn't have the desire to pull together a good look out of the shit the other Santana owned, and proceeded to try and figure out what it was she should be doing with her free time. Just as she was about to sit down and waste time with television the doorbell rang. Violet bolted out of her room and raced to the door as if she knew who it was and maybe she did, Santana was certainly curious. The door opened and in stepped Puck who greeted the small girl warmly. He was wearing a sweaty winter jogging getup and seemed rather impatient.

"Santana what are you wearing? Time to go!"

"To what?"

Understanding fell over his face and he slipped in closer to her, "We jog on weekends and holidays, gotta keep in shape."

"Do I have to?" she whispered back to him, she couldn't help but notice that Violet had moved back to her room, and Ella as always, was the only one interested in their conversation.

"It would look weird as hell and it would make me sad if you don't."

She grumbled, got up and changed again, ten minutes later she was jogging in the snow wearing a track suit that, thank gracious, didn't look like a Sue knockoff. The downside was it was neon green, the upside was it was warm.

"What is with these insanely colored random articles of cloth-" she was suddenly able to answer her own question, "Brittany," Puck nodded. "Okay, why am I the official cook?"

"Same answer, but more specifically how much do you trust her with the preparation of food?"

"About as much as I would trust her with a child honestly."

"True, but she has proved herself with the kids and she has proven she can partially burn down your house trying to make buttered bread, not toast, bread."

"What in the hell… Okay why am I jogging?"

He looked her up and down, "How else do you plan to keep a perfect body?"

"Aren't there gyms or somewhere warmer to do this?" she said feeling the cold making her teeth rattle.

"Yeah, but nothing beats fresh air, hey it was you who got me into this."

"It doesn't mean I have to like it."

For a while they jogged in silence while Santana tried not to drop dead from the cold and trying to keep up with Puck's pace that felt a lot like a full on run. She had a slim figure and was well toned, but that was through a careful diet and light cardio. This was training for the big leagues and she didn't even get it, why in the hell did she have to run; wasn't she the coach?

"Puck slow down," she coughed after him between gulps of air.

He stopped and moved to her side looking more concerned than ever, "You really have changed, you used to run rings around me easily on my best day."

"I told you I'm not that person," she panted, doubled over from the stitch in her side.

Puck rubbed her back calmingly, "You really need to see somebody."

"The day after Christmas? Not going to happen."

"What are you going to do? You know if none of it comes back."

"How do you mean?"

"You will stay here right? Keep on trying to get your groove back?"

There was more silence as she thought about it, "I don't know."

"Santana," he said kneeling to look her in the eyes, "Brittany loves you, like more than I think is actually healthy, she not only loves you she looks up to you and not just her Ella and Violet too. Hell even Quinn does, but don't tell her I told you that."

"I get it Puck, but this isn't me."

"Yes it is you just don't remember, look when you go home just talk to Brittany. Make a little love, rediscover each other…you can invite me if you're too nervous," he joked, she scowled at him. "You can't chase this dream life if it leads you away from her, it would be like the saddest thing in the world and I think one day you would show up and knock my lights out if I let you do it. I was serious before, you need her, she really does bring out the best in you."

She wanted him to understand that she wasn't the person who should do that, this life belonged to other Santana, all she really wanted was normalcy again. Maybe it hadn't been perfect but it had been as close as she would ever get. She wanted the life she had built herself.

"One way or the other I'm not going anywhere right now," she said standing having finally caught her breath.

Puck smiled, "Good. Now come on we have to whip you back into shape," he said and took off running.

Santana groaned and followed at a much less respectable pace.

When she finally returned home she found Brittany waiting for her on the couch looking a little like a wounded puppy. Santana attempted to walk past and head to the shower, but Brittany's soft voice stopped her.

"I'm really sorry."

She paused and looked at the other woman confusion clouding her features, "About what?" she asked trying to think of something Brittany had done to apologize for, which would be useless if this was something that had happened before she had arrived.

"Last night. I know you just wanted to talk, but I thought maybe… I mean you had seemed sort of turned on earlier… but I'm sorry I pushed it."

"It's fine," she said not knowing what in the world this was about.

"Will you come back? To sleeping in the bed?"

Then it clicked, she had taken Santana's panic attack as aggravation at her come on, "You don't have to be sorry Britt. I've just… not been feeling well lately."

"Is it your leg? Is it bothering you again?"

"No it's fine, I just feel out of place all of a sudden. Last night I had that feeling, but it had nothing," _EVERYTHING_ , "to do with you, okay?"

She nodded smiling, "Okay."

"Great," Santana felt a little proud of her ability to quell these issues. Sure they would come back later but she would put them off again and again until it was time to go home.

She went into their bedroom, undressed and got into the shower, loving the feel of the hot water washing away all of the half frozen sweat she had acquired. It bothered her that she was so incredibly out of shape, she really thought she was better than that. As the steam began to fill the small space she took deep breaths of it relishing how it made her lungs feel. Moments ago a gulp of air provided the plus of continued oxygenation of her blood and the minus of making her lungs feel like they were on fire. While enjoying the pleasure of warmth the water provided she thought she heard a noise, but after a moment it she convinced herself it had been nothing. Instead her thoughts turned to what injury her leg was supposed to have had or how she had gotten it as a coach, these were things she really needed to ask Puck…

Her thoughts flew of that train track the moment she felt Brittany's naked body pressed against her back.

"What the-!" she yelped, startled out of her meditative state.

She spun around on Brittany to see her standing there soaking wet, with an unmistakable look in her eye.

"Do you still feel out of place?" she asked seriously.

 _Yes more than I ever have, ever in life, ever!_ "No," she wasn't sure why she said that even as the words left her lips.

Brittany moved closer again, took Santana's face in her hands and kissed her. At this moment Santana felt her solid resolve crumble, she decided that given the circumstances it would be best to do this not because she wanted to but in order to keep Brittany happy. It wouldn't do to reject her again, that would only hurt her more. This wasn't because she was really gay she was doing this to keep the peace and that was all. That settled she pushed the blonde against the wall and ravaged her neck and breasts, her hands roaming all over her. Brittany's breathing turned ragged and she seemed to want to say something, but the words were lost in the moans that overtook them and Santana didn't have enough interest in talking to slow down. She nibbled roughly on the taller woman's neck as she pushed her knee in between her legs and then her fingers, relishing the familar feel of the woman's body.

Pretending she didn't enjoy the way Brittany writhed and whimpered was quite pointless, Santana set a furious pace that had her lover clutching her back and melting in her hands almost instantly. Her name was on Brittany's lips as her whole body clenched and shuddered her hips bucking involuntarily, Santana held her up loving the look of her riding the wave of pleasure clinging desperately to her, but she wasn't finished with this encounter yet. With a yank she pulled the shower curtain open and pulled a wobbly kneed Brittany back out into the bedroom where she pushed her still soaking form onto the bed and swiftly followed her, straddling the blonde with a look that could only be called predatory. Somewhere she was aware that this had moved beyond merely keeping the missus happy, but she would come up for a reason for this later, now she had a feverish desire burning through her whole body that was not going to let up unless she took action, and that is what she did.

Santana lifted one of Brittany's legs positioned herself between them and ground down on her, and it was like a lightning bolt had struck her. She clenched her teeth and buried her head in Brittany's neck trying to stifle her hiss of pleasure. This time Brittany set the pace, it was slow and commanding at first then gradually picked up as they both found an increasing need for more friction. Brittany's hands found the sensitive space between them and added her talented fingers to the mix causing Santana to bite down on her shoulder again. She hadn't intended on doing it too hard, but all the same she tasted blood in her mouth, she was almost snapped out of her frenzy, but Brittany gave a throaty moan of pleasure and dug her free hand into Santana's hair pushing her head harder into her shoulder. They moved together in a perfect rhythm that returned to her easily from her long burried past, Brittany's touch was familiar and far more intimate, clearly the touch of someone who had gotten to know her far better in the ten years Santana had spent running from her teenage lover. The feeling that was building was more intense and real than anything she could remember from her life in Boston and it had Santana wishing to stay in this one carefree moment forever, but her body pushed her out of sync as her orgasm rocked her causing her to bite down on Brittany's collar bone, a bite that had her wife screaming her name for a second time.

They lay on the bed, Santana still on top of Brittany, enjoying the afterglow of their midday tryst. Santana, however, was snapped out of it by the paranoid feeling that Ella was nearby, she turned her head to the door suddenly alert and a little afraid. The door was still closed and she didn't see the shadow of a demon spawn hiding in the room. Just to be sure she glanced at the windows, but the blinds were drawn, she was pulled out of her search by Brittany.

"San, that was incredible," she said dreamily.

Somewhat assured that the child was not lurking she returned her attention to Brittany, "It really was."

"I was starting to think you didn't even find me desirable anymore."

"Why? Because of last night?" she scoffed, that was being a little too sensitive even for her.

Brittany got the look on her face everyone got when Santana asked something that should be obvious to her, "No. We haven't made love in almost a year."

Santana winced at the term 'making love' then frowned. Why in the hell not? She was hot and amazing in bed what in the world was other Santana's problem?

"It had nothing to do with you," she said attempting to somehow rectify what had clearly been a mistake.

Brittany gave her a smile that melted her heart, "I love you Santana," she said kissing her gently.

"I… I love you too Britt," she said, her brain making a list of excuses as she did, filing it under; 'Being Polite', subheading 'In a Platonic Way'.

* * *

In the following days Santana found herself falling comfortably into her daily routine, she even bought a cook book in an attempt to keep her family from having to live off of Lucky Charms until the end of time. She got up, jogged with Puck, came home and played with the kids, even Ella who didn't warm up to her even slightly, and spent her evenings in other Santana's study trying to figure out what in the hell she was going to do if she was still here when school started again. She also made it a regular habit of making sure Brittany never felt unattractive again, this she excused with the thought that maybe she was supposed to fix other Santana's marriage and that was the only problem she could see with it, so in the interest of going home she kept Brittany up all night, every night.

She comfortably followed this routing until New Years Eve where, in the tradition of the Lopez-Puckerman clans they had a huge outdoor party. There were fireworks, hot dogs, hamburgers, soda, liquor and even more liquor. Santana watched the scene before her and felt a little tug at her heart, there was something about seeing Puck, who was shoving a whole burger in his mouth, happily married to a non-bitchy Quinn, well mostly non-bitchy she was currently shouting at him for not chewing properly, that made her smile. Their children were playing happily with hers as Carla supervised them and lit sparklers and it gave her a warm feeling she didn't think she had ever felt in her whole life.

The Pierces were talking to Ms. Puckerman which was interesting because all three of them were pretty drunk, but the conversation seemed to have everyone engaged. Hailey was watching over Brittany as she lit a small firecracker, her younger sister's face one of nervous anticipation. Santana stifled a laugh as Hailey jumped back when it went off, but Brittany just looked amused, clearly the younger girl had been expecting a disaster. Then suddenly, like the ninja she had always been, Ella was at her feet.

"Wanna set off one of the big ones?" she asked, straight faced.

Again she felt pride that the child had yet to make her scream in fright, but she knew it was only a matter of time, "Sure which one?" she asked moving over to the box of fireworks they had prepared.

Ella walked over and pulled out one about as long as her arm, "How about this one?"

"Okay," she said, slightly pleased that this conversation was going so well, Ella rarely said anything unless it was to antagonize her. She reached out her hand to take the firework, but Ella gave her _that_ look, that 'You're doing something out of character' look.

"I can do it, just give me a lighter."

"No way kiddo you are way too small," she laughed.

Ella stared at her levelly for a moment and then tossed it back in the box, "Never mind, better to wait for everyone else to be done with the small stuff," she said and walked away.

Santana just stood there stunned, _What the fuck is up with that kid?_

"Hey San!" shouted Puck, "get me some more lighter fluid out of the garage would you? I need another burger!"

"No, you don't need another anything! You just inhaled three!" snapped Quinn.

Santana nodded and went back into the house. She entered the garage through the door off the kitchen and looked around for the lighter fluid appreciative that Puck had indiscreetly told her where to search for it. Though it was still tough, it was a two car garage and the light bulb was out so the kitchen was the only source of light she had. Then, all of a sudden, it was dimmed. She turned to see Ella standing in the doorway, this time she actually yelled in surprise. _Damn_.

The girl had that same humorless look in her eyes as she used her foot to kick the door shut, a move that scared the hell out of Santana. _She is going to murder me! I knew it!_

"You aren't Santana."

She stared at the girl in amazement, "Not at all," she said eager to tell the truth.

"Who are you? Where is she?"

"I am Santana, but just not the one you know, and I have no idea where the other one is. I mean I have no idea how I got here, I don't even know where here is really," she said, all of this flowing out of her in a rapid stream, despite the company she was overjoyed that someone understood that this was far more than memory loss.

Ella's stare hardened slightly, "Why won't you leave?"

"And go where? My life before has nothing to do with any of this. I think I'm just kind of stuck here until… I don't know I think I'm supposed to be either figuring something out or fixing something."

"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully.

"You have been kind of on my case since the moment I got here, how did you automatically know I wasn't her?" Santana asked hoping some sort of revealing clue would be in the answer.

"I didn't, not at first. When I saw you on Christmas morning your eyes were weird."

"My eyes?"

"Santana's eyes are strong and focused and yours were panicked, lost and lonely."

She gave the girl a long look, "You are the oldest eight year old I have ever met."

"I'm seven."

"Right. Sorry. But how did you know if it wasn't when you first saw me?"

"A bunch of things, you failed like every test I threw at you. I called you mom and you didn't flip out on me, you let us eat sugary cereal for breakfast, your cooking sucks, and you offered to light a firecracker for me. That is like the total opposite of my Santana."

"Why won't she let you call her mom?"

"It bothers her I guess, she doesn't like it when Violet does it either, but sometimes I do it just to make her mad. Violet mostly calls her Sanny, I think that sounds stupid."

"I agree, but seriously the firecracker? What adult lets a kid do that?"

"Santana spent the last few years teaching safety for lighting one just in case I found myself alone with mom and Violet on the Fourth or something, so whenever she can she makes sure I still know what I'm doing."

"I'm… I'm told she doesn't like you much… why is that?"

At this Ella dropped her head and looked at her feet, suddenly she looked like the child she was, "I saw her doing something she wasn't supposed to and I threatened to tell mom. I wouldn't have!" she said looking pleadingly at Santana as she explained herself, "And I didn't, I don't even know why I said I would. After that she was really mad and never really talked to me so I would do stuff to irritate her just so she would say something to me."

"Ella what was it you caught her doing?"

Now Ella looked truly upset, "I'm not even sure. She was doing a lot I couldn't see, but I did see her kissing Ms. Novak."

"Who?" she asked knowing the answer hardly mattered.

"A woman that works at the school."

Santana was in total shock, it made sense it all made sense now. Puck's warning, her sexual estrangements from Brittany, all of it. The other Santana had a wife, kids, friends and a lover on the side. She was cheating on Brittany and had somehow managed to get their child mixed up in all of it. The thought left a bad taste in her mouth, she had been really starting to admire her other self. She had chosen love over her own selfish desires and showed no shame in it, she had become a local celebrity in a town that respected little and most of all had managed to raise a family with her wife in a narrow minded state. She seemed strong willed in a way Santana could only hope for, but now she saw a woman who was unhappy with the things she was so damn lucky to have in the first place. Not only was she cheating on her high school love who was spectacular in every regard she somehow managed to ruin her relationship with her daughter over it. What in the hell had that woman been thinking?

At that moment Puck opened the door and looked between the two of them worriedly, "You guys okay?" he asked.

Santana nodded, "Yeah she was just helping me find the lighter fluid."

Ella moved to a shelf by the door, after shuffling a few things around she handed Puck the canister. He took it still looking dubious.

"You sure everything is fine?"

"Yup, thanks Puck," Santana said pointedly.

He nodded and went back into the house leaving the door cracked, Santana went to close it and knelt next to Ella.

"Look I don't know why I'm here or what I have to do to get back, I don't even know how long I have left to be here, but I will try and fix this okay?"

Ella just looked at her questioningly, "What could you do? If she comes back it will all be the same."

"I don't know, but that has to be the answer doesn't it? To make things right here?" she knew it was sort of crazy to have the conversation with a seven year old but the relief of having someone who understood was driving her on. Ella wasn't trying to convince her that she was this other person, it was obvious to the child that the Santana before her and the one she had grown up with were two separate people.

"I don't know I guess. If this was a movie it would work."

She stood to return to the party then stopped and knelt next to Ella again, the girl looked confused when Santana took her hands and resumed eye contact, "I know I'm not that same person and I'm not sure if any of the changes I make will stick, but you should know that the other Santana is horrible for putting you in this spot. We are kind of the same person, the only real difference is one major life choice so I feel I can say, on her behalf, that I am truly sorry for how you've been treated."

Tears ran down the little girls cheeks as she wrapped her arms around Santana and hugged her, "Can you let her know I'm really sorry about saying I would tell?" she cried.

"She knows," she said patting the girl comfortingly on her back.

For a second time the door opened, but this time it was almost ripped off its hinges by Brittany who looked outright alarmed.

"Ella, are you alright?" she asked looking like she wasn't even sure if she should ask in Santana's presence.

"Yeah mom," she said letting go of Santana and wiping away her tears.

Santana kissed her head gently and took her hand guiding her back through the house and into the yard. Brittany watched the exchange with a look of shock on her face; she had not seen the two of them so close in ages. She almost giggled to herself with joy as she followed them back, Puck started to prepare his burgers and Santana and Ella lit the large fireworks; Ella discreetly teaching Santana how to do it. The New Year was wrung in with a bang and Santana resolved to have this whole mess fixed and be back home before she started to get too attached to this place.


	4. Chapter 4

Santana felt that New Years Day called for omelets. Omelets, for someone who had spent practically no time cooking anything ever, were a rather difficult dish. Omelets with a mild hangover were quite a bit harder, especially when it came to being able to read the fine print in the cook book, but she managed. Luckily Ella was perched on a stool at the counter helping her along in her quest.

"Don't put any peppers in Violet's she hates those," Ella advised wisely as she ate the one Santana had failed at earlier. It had too much salt and was pretty burned, but she ate it anyway.

"Oh," Santana said sorrowfully as she looked at the handful she had just dropped in.

Ella laughed, "Don't worry just give that one to mom."

"Right," She said smiling slightly, "Good save. You sure you don't want me to make you a better one?" she nodded to the brown catastrophe she had made earlier.

"This is fine," the girl replied taking another bite.

There was a pause while Santana picked her next words carefully, "You know when you were testing me? Like challenging me about the cereal and stuff, Brittany always looked kind of worried."

Her mouth was full so Ella nodded instead.

"I, erm, the other me, she doesn't hit you or anything does she?" her voice was almost at a whisper.

Ella shook her head and swallowed, "No, mom just knows when I'm starting a fight. She knows Santana gets pissed with me easily and it makes her real sad so if she sees something about to start she breaks it up. She just doesn't want to see us not get along."

"Are you sure that's it?"

"S'what she tells me every time she drags me away," she said and took another mouthful.

Santana nodded feeling a little bit better, "So…tell me about yourself."

Ella gave her a look, "I was always thought that my Santana didn't really like kids, she just put up with them. Are you different?"

"Nope don't like kids, but like the other me I can tolerate them, besides I don't see you as a kid so much as the only person on the planet who believes me."

She nodded, in a, 'Fair enough' manner, "I make good grades and I cause a lot of trouble, but I never get caught."

"Atta girl."

Ella giggled at that, "I like the outdoors and sports and stuff and mom got me into motocross, but she won't let me take lessons till I'm older. I really like alien and monster movies or anything like that."

 _Explains why you were able to figure this out on your own,_ Santana thought.

"Violet and I get along okay, but I dunno I guess…" she paused and looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was nearby, "I am a bit jealous of her cause she gets along with mom way easier than I do. I always have to try hard to understand whatever they're doing."

"Have you ever told Brittany any of this?"

She shook her head wildly, "No way!" she whispered sharply, "It would hurt her feelings. She does all kinds of stuff with me, and she works really hard for us to be friends."

Santana gave the girl a good long look, "You really are too smart for your age."

Ella looked embarrassed and continued to eat her omelet in silence.

Brittany and Violet woke at about the same time to the smell of breakfast and filed in, Violet snatched her plate with a rushed 'Thank you!' and dashed to the television to eat. Ella grabbed her plate and followed demanding that they not have to watch Tom and Jerry. Brittany watched them go and smiled at Santana.

"Do you think you two might be getting along again?"

"I don't see why not," she said handing Brittany her plate.

Santana never tired of seeing Brittany's barely controlled joy, she took her plate and gave her a brief kiss before going to join the kids in watching Rocko's Modern Life.

* * *

William McKinley High School had been for many years the starting point for all of Santana's hopes and dreams, as in she hoped to leave and dreamed of never coming back. That crumbled down around her as she stood in front of the doors she swore she would never step inside again. Finally accepting her fate she pushed them open and once more Santana Lopez roamed the halls of McKinley.

She wore a button down blouse, khaki pants, and a jacket that didn't look like it was colored by a two year old. Granted sweatpants and a sweater or a tracksuit would have been more appropriate, but one was frumpy and the other was too Sue. From the way that every student in a Cheerios uniform avoided her gaze she really needed to make more distinctions between herself and _that_ woman. To her surprise her old coach's office already had someone in it by the time she arrived. A man, only slightly taller than her, was waiting with a clipboard, he was slim, tan and well toned, he reminded her a lot of Puck. Judging from the way he was dressed he was the gym coach.

"Gawdamn Lopez every time I see you it breaks my heart, you are just way to pretty to be a dyke," he said with a smile.

She had to think fast, either this man was wildly inappropriate or she knew him and this was a joking, in good humor, between pals thing. Given the fear in her students eyes it meant she was known for being a hard ass, if that was the case then he would know not to joke with her unless he knew her well… or maybe he was just stupid…

The answer didn't come soon enough so he clarified for her, "Aw loosen up Santana you know I'm joking! Whut did winter break suck out all yer humor?" he chuckled.

His thick Texan accent amused her more than his words and she cracked a smile, "You wish, so what can I do for you?"

Two eyebrows shot up, "Well aren't we polite? Jest came by congratulate you on coming back after that nasty spill and to drop off the names of some of the athletes that applied to join the team before the break. I only need one QB but there's some fine fellas on this list that might make yer squad really pop."

She had no idea how to respond to this, asking what she could do was too polite… so more rudeness? "Fine I'll look at it later," she said offhandedly as she dumped her sports bag by the desk.

He smiled at her and unclipped the list from the clipboard, "See you on the field Lopez," he said and left.

She took a deep breath only to have panic seep in, she had no earthly idea who that was and the rest of her day was going to be like that. She knew no one on the faculty never mind the students! Then she remembered how she went through most of high school without actually knowing anyone's name, she sort of made them up and since she was an imposter in her own life she had to assume the same was true for other Santana.

It was.

No one expected her to be polite, gracious, or to remember their names though she did go to extreme lengths to figure them out. The students were easy, the roll call solved that problem, the faculty required eaves dropping, glancing at their personal memo's and occasionally slipping a peak at their ID. Normally she wouldn't have bothered, but she really wanted to know who Ms. Novak was. It wouldn't work to walk around asking 'Are you the person I'm having an affair with?' and until she knew what everyone else knew about them she didn't want to look shady asking random people where she was. She was almost overcome with the desire to call Ella's school and ask her what the woman looked like, the only thing that stopped her was the firm belief that the child had been through enough.

During practice she met her head cheerleader, she was a tall, slender black girl called Jamie, she had a kind face and was soft on the eyes, she was also the most vicious task master Santana had ever seen. Her sweet demeanor vanished when it was time to lead the squad, Santana now knew the training regimen that had beaten out Sue's; work the kids even harder doing even more dangerous stunts. It was a little scary since she remembered being worked to the point of contemplating suicide, but they were flawless.

After the last practice of the day she returned to her office and was preparing to return home, full of questions, some for Ella some for Puck, when Jamie stopped her.

"Coach Lopez!" the teen called as she ran carrying a huge cardboard box.

She turned and saw the huge item that was now being handed to her, she took it and looked at Jamie waiting for an explanation, "This is…?" she asked waiting for the girl to finish the sentence.

Again that, 'You should know this.' look, "It's the routines the squad came up with over break." When Santana's face continued to be blank she continued, "You told us to each make a video of a cheer routine and to have it ready on the first day back."

"Over Christmas break?"

Jamie looked worried, "Yes… Nationals is in a few months so you have to pick the three you are going to use by the end of this month so we can start practicing."

The weight of the box told her she had a long month ahead of her, "Okay got it, thank you Jamie, good work."

At the praise the earlier oddness was forgotten and she took off down the hall, Santana reached her office and set the box down by the television. She made them bust their asses over Christmas? Wow. She sighed and looked around the room, it hadn't changed much except all the pictures on the wall were of her current squad and her and the desk had pictures of her family. Smiling at it and subconsciously wishing to see them she slid open the box to see what the damage was. It was filled to the brim with tapes DVD's and flash drives. She groaned, this assignment had clearly gone to the reserve squad as well.

While wrapped up in this she didn't notice someone come in the door, but she became aware when a hand brushed her hair from her face.

Santana yelped and spun around to see a woman, maybe an inch shorter than her with long brown hair, glasses and an outfit that reminded her of Rachel Berry gone cabaret. This had to be Ms. Novak, she had to admit though she could see the temptation, the woman was gorgeous and knew it.

"Santana, I'm glad to see you back," she purred.

She had an accent she couldn't quite place, it sounded a bit Slavic, "Thanks." Mentally she kicked herself. _What in the hell was that? Thanks? Idiot!_

The woman took a step forward that put her well inside Santana's personal bubble, "I missed you, and you didn't call."

"It was Christmas and I was spending it with my family."

She chuckled at that, "We both know that is a silly excuse."

After one deliberate step backwards she replied, "It's not an excuse. Look I did some thinking over the holidays and I think we should end this," she waved her finger back and forth between them to emphasize her point.

She took another step forward and Santana found herself backed into a wall, "What is this game you are playing with me? I am not familiar with it."

"It's not a game I really want this to stop. I need to focus on my family," she replied with all the confidence a person backed against a wall can have.

"That didn't seem to bother you when we fucked in your daughters' bedroom," Ms. Novak said casually still moving closer.

 _We WHAT?_ "You were in my house?" she asked forgetting that she was supposed to know this.

"So this is where you pretend to be the innocent virgin girl who is to be ravaged? I think I pull it off better than you, but no harm in mixing things up."

"Yes this is a game, it's called I Don't Know Who You Are Or Anything About Us."

She rolled her eyes and got close enough to hook her fingers on Santana's pants pulling her closer, "Sounds boring," she said planting a kiss on her neck.

Shuddering Santana spun out of her grasp and placed the desk between herself and her pursuer, "What is your name?"

"Selena Novak and you are to be my prey this evening," she said breathily.

"How long have we been seeing each other?"

She paused, "Two years I suppose. Santana I must say I am not really in the mood for this game after having gone so long without you."

"This isn't a game!" she snapped, feeling more anger at the other Santana than at the woman in front of her, "I am serious Selena this is over! Like right now!"

That seemed to have gotten through, and to her credit she seemed to be truly crestfallen, "Really? Because you came to me with your tales of a wife that frustrates you and children you didn't ask for! I am everything your Brittany is not and you want to just break it off with me suddenly like this?"

Something about this woman saying Brittany's name made her lip curl, "Something like that."

Now she was starting to look furious, "You can't do this Santana, I won't let you treat me like I am not worth your time!"

"I know that's why you've got to go. It's not fair to anyone."

"And you think she'll ever show you what I have? Give you the pleasure I have?"

"Don't remember your pleasure, I know that I love her and I have loved her so much for so long I don't know why I ever tried to stop," she was a little stunned by her own words, how they had come from the part of her heart she had been sure she had squashed.

Selena looked at her in a way that sent a tingle down her spine, it was a dangerous glower, "I see," she said laboriously and marched out of the room.

Santana took a deep calming breath and flopped into her chair, the more she heard about the other her the more she hated her. She was clearly selfish and twisted, but if logic followed they were really the same person. When she thought of it in those terms she could see how it could happen, her need to make rash decisions in anger or jealousy ruined relationships and lives. Back home in Boston she had done despicable things with married men who had children, this was that quality showing itself here. Other Santana, however, didn't seem to understand how being the one with the family changed the game entirely and, by the time she realized it, had gone too far. Selena seemed to have fallen into the same slot Puck had occupied long ago except unlike him she had become rather attached to her or so it seemed. Not that it mattered any more, she had done what other Santana had failed to do. The feeling of accomplishment melted when she saw the box again, then an idea struck her. _The box!_

She jumped out of her chair pulled the flaps back and dug in, she pulled out every DVD with or without a case or label and stacked them up. One of them could be the very thing that could send her back! Excited she put the first on in the player and waited, there was a slide that named the participants as Mark, Eric, Greg and Katie. It was a cheer routine and a weak one at that, she tried the next one, same story though this routine was much more elaborate. She watched one after the next combining combing through them to find her escape and actually watching them in case there was no exit. At about ten at night she found she was only halfway through the stack and had about thirty more to go. Exhausted she labeled the ones she had seen, marked the ones she liked packed them up and took the box and herself home.

By the time she arrived home the house was silent and dark. She turned on the kitchen light to see a note on the fridge that said:

**Meatloaf in the microwave, no worries auntie Q made it.**

**-El**

Santana smiled and moved to the microwave to heat it up, she dialed in two minutes and waited. She heard more than saw Brittany come out of the hallway and come to the counter.

"How was your day?" she asked quietly.

"Pretty good," she mumbled through a yawn, nodding towards the box she continued, "Have alotta videos to review."

"You were really late."

"Sorry I got caught up with all this." She motioned towards the box again, "I'll make it a point to call next time."

"Santana why is there lipstick on your neck?"

Her blood froze, "Huh?" her brain could only laugh hysterically at this major oversight. Other Santana kept this shit hidden for two years, five minutes with her in the hot seat and the jig was up… on the other hand this _was_ Brittany, "Oh this?" she made a point to rub it off while indicating it, "Some of the girls were putting lipstick on their hands to make those little hand face puppets, you know the poor woman's make-out toy, and one of them thought it would be funny to tag my neck with hand lips."

Brittany smiled, "Oh, I bet you made them regret that."

"Boy did I," her brain was now doing a hysterical 'Phew dodged that bullet' laugh.

"Do you want me to help you watch all these videos?" she asked looking in the box.

"Sure, but not tonight I've had enough cheerleading for one day."

She laughed, "That's the first time I've ever heard you say that."

The microwave beeped and she took her meal and ate it while having a pleasant chat with Brittany, though she was completely interested in her wife's explanation of her day Santana's mind was weighing calling Puck now or first thing in the morning. He was the father of four and he worked all day so he would probably be dead asleep and Quinn would murder her for calling that late, but she needed to talk to him badly. In the end she decided to wait, partially because Quinn had picked up her slack and made dinner for her family, but mostly because Brittany had moved to her lap and was making it impossible to even remember what a phone was.

* * *

The next morning the whole first four minutes of her phone call to the Puckerman household went something like this:

-Noah! Telephone!

-Mom, look I'm Batman!

-That's nice Caleb. Aaron get off the table! **NOAH TELEPHONE!**

**-I HEARD YOU TWICE THE FIRST TIME QUINN GIMMIE A SEC!**

**-I HAVE FOUR KIDS TO DRESS FOR SCHOOL I DON'T HAVE A SEC!**

-Hey dad! I'm Batman!

-I said I'm getting the phone stop yelling about it!

-That wasn't me that was Caleb you cannot possibly confuse us!

-Haw-Haw Caleb sounds like a girl!

-Mom!

-Joseph leave Caleb alone! Caleb your voice is very manly and you need to get your school clothes on.

-But I'm Batman.

-Mom the phone is off the hook.

-I know Joseph it's for your father.

-Daaaad! Phooooone!

**-JESUS! I KNOW ALREADY!**

Etc…

"Hello?" came Puck's voice finally.

"Puck it's me, sorry to bug you, but this can't wait."

"No prob, but next time just call my cell."

"I couldn't find that number in my phone."

"Right, memory still an issue then. I was drunk and changed it to 'Knuck if you Puck' so check under the K's. Santana, for real, take the day off and see a doctor."

"No need Puck, I'm fine now, I still need a couple of holes filled in that's all. It's coming back to me," she lied. Ella made her believe her own story, this wasn't her life and since Puck couldn't grasp that it was better just to fake it.

"That's good to hear, so what do you need help with."

"Who in the hell is Selena Novak?"

"A person you need not mess with," he hissed at her in a low voice that hinted there were prying ears nearby.

"I know that now. What do you know about her?"

"She is the school guidance counselor and she's from overseas, that's all I know."

 _Guidance counselor? What was with this school and picking the most grossly inappropriate people to guide it's youth?_ "What do you know about us?"

"You don't talk about it, but it's pretty obvious to me that you are playing with fire."

"Not anymore, that's over and done with. Now how in the hell did I hurt my leg?"

"You were challenged to do a new routine you created that a few said couldn't be done, you did it, but it cost you a hairline fracture straight up and down your tibia. You played it off well enough and the move went off without a hitch when Jamie did it, it was even the reason you got the invitation to Nationals. In order to keep the move viable you told everyone you were pushed by someone down a flight of stairs. You torture your squad enough for anyone to believe that though I'm not sure why you didn't just say you fell."

"Why did I confess to you?" she snorted.

"Confess? Who do you think helped you walk out of the gym after your craptastic landing?"

"One more thing do you know who the football coach is?"

"Eric Lad, no worries there, he's a cool guy, we've had a few beers."

"Got it, okay I think I have a handle on what I should know thanks."

"Anytime."

She hung up the phone and watched Brittany load Ella and Violet into the car, she still had a yearning for her penthouse, but looking at the three of them dulled that desire a great deal. The thought bothered her so she doused it and got ready to go to work.

* * *

When she was younger, Santana had always assumed teachers lived the most boring lives on the planet. That they came to a dilapidated building and repeated the same words over and over year after year to people who didn't give a crap. That was partially true, but the reality was that it was anything _but_ boring. Someone was always doing something they weren't supposed to, there was an endless mountain of paper work that seemed to be breeding in her office, never mind the essays she'd had Cheerios write on the ways centrifugal force should and should not be used in a routine. In the midst of all this work she wondered how she'd even had time to carry on an affair, the day to day was exhausting.

During lunch she was about to pass out on the table in the teacher's lounge when Eric jolted her out of it by flopping down next to her and bumping the table, "Hey little lady, have I gotta gift for you!"

Her bleary eyes swiveled to him and tried to focus, "Izzit a bed?"

"Why ya got something in mind?" he said suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

 _Is he Puck's cousin?_ Santana didn't have the energy to tell him on how many levels that wasn't going to happen, "What's the gift?"

"Booya!" he exclaimed dropping a DVD case on her desk, the cover of which was a portrait of Sue Sylvester signed by the very same.

"Why on earth would I even want this near me?" she asked sobered up by the image.

"It's her routine for Nationals, my nephew goes to Frankston High and his girlfriend is on the squad, Sylvester is selling signed copies of her 'winning routine' that she plans to beat you with," he said proudly.

Santana picked it up and almost laughed, this was so obviously one of her ploys it was almost sad, "I'll be sure to look at it." She tossed it to the side and prepared to sleep right on the table when another visual splash to the face joined them. Selena Novak.

 _Good. I need this now. Perfect,_ she thought acidly. _  
_

"Hello Eric," Selena purred.

He childishly waved at her, "Hi."

"Santana, how are you today?" she asked turning her grey eyes onto the now wide awake Latina.

"Fine. Never better really. Got a lot to do so gotta go," she rattled and stood to leave.

Selena stood with her, "There is no rush, there is something I would like to speak with you about."

She was acutely aware that Eric was listening to every word, "I don't have an open slot for a while. Tell you what, Jamie knows my schedule better than I do, talk to her and we can set something up." With that she dashed out of the door, resolved to make herself invisible until the end of lunch.

When classes started again Santana had just taken a half hour nap in the janitor's closet and felt quite refreshed, maybe it was the nap, maybe it was because she successfully dodged another bullet, maybe it was because she now smelled like Pine-Sol. Whatever the reason the second half of the day was a breeze.

She managed to conclude practice on time and got straight to work on grading the essays, in a fit of joy she discovered it was actually Jamie who did most of the work she merely looked over them and decided if anyone's ideas were usable. They finished at about six and Santana packed her things and went home feeling like for the first time she had made it through a day without fumbling. This feeling was still with her as she pulled into her driveway and saw a car she didn't recognize, she wondered who it could be with a little bit of trepidation; what if she was supposed to know this person and had no idea who they were?

Before she could go in and find out for herself the front door opened and there stood Selena; the world felt like it had spun from under her feet.

The guidance councilor sauntered to her and handed her the DVD with Sue on the cover, "You forgot this, and I see now how you kept us secret for so long, she is very dense."

Santana took it with unfeeling fingers her eyes darting to the door, "What did you do?"

The other woman ignored her, got in her car and drove away. Santana dashed inside to find Brittany staring motionless out of the window over the sink.

Carefully she approached trying to figure out what to say, asking about their interaction would sound guilty; should she just act like everything was fine? Clearly it wasn't.

She touched Brittany's shoulder and the other woman jumped, "Santana! You're home," she panted still getting over the shock.

"You okay?" she asked carefully.

"I was just trying to see if the flamingo next door would move if maybe it thought I was an inanimate object. I mean they clearly move at some point."

Santana's eyes flicked to the window where she could see a plastic flamingo in their neighbors front yard, her eyes went back to Brittany, "That's why you were standing here? Did you even know Selena was in the house?"

"Oh yeah! She just left, she had something for you!"

"I got it. Britt did she say anything about… anything?"

A contemplative look went over her face, "She apparently wanted me to know what good friends you are. I'm glad you have someone that makes you feel so good at work."

Relief washed over her, this was Brittany after all, Selena had probably made obvious illusions about their relationship that Brittany, being the trusting person that she was, only took in a platonic capacity.

"Got it, well, I'll get started on dinner okay?"

Brittany nodded and gave the window a fleeting glance as she moved to the living room to straighten it up. When she did Ella slipped into the kitchen, crouched low, and pulled on the hem of her pants. Santana ducked down to where she was.

"Why was that woman here?" Ella asked looking worried.

"I don't know I told her not to bother me anymore, but she came here to tell Brittany about… what happened," she decided not to elaborate on that point.

"Will she come back?"

"I hope not, though honestly I have no idea. I think she might be crazy which is something I really wish someone had told me before I met her."

Ella looked at her suddenly with a sad expression, "Are you still looking for a way to get home?"

"Yes. I have to, this isn't where I belong."

The small girl nodded and handed her something, Santana took it and saw that it was a sky blue bracelet made of beads that spelled her name, "Violet and I made it for you, we were gonna save it until your birthday, but that's is far away and I want you, this version of you, to have it."

There was no amount of rationalization or denial that could cover the fact that she was moved by the gesture. Ella scrambled back around the corner to break up their secret powwow. Santana stood and slipped the bracelet on her wrist, she pulled open cook books to find something she could make all while reminding herself for the millionth time not to get too attached to this place.

* * *

Before she knew it a month had passed, then two, then four and she had fallen into a routine that she couldn't help but enjoy. School was manageable ever since Selena had backed off and Jamie made coaching stupid easy, her need to please made it to where Santana never really needed to do anything. Coming home to Brittany was still her favorite part of every day, but she refused to admit that even now. On the weekends she would jog and talk with Puck and occasionally afterwards they would go out drinking with Brittany and Quinn while her mother or Brittany's parents watched the kids. It was a simple life, one she had tried to avoid at all costs, but now that she was living it she found it was nowhere near as bad as she had always feared.

Ella became almost like a partner in crime and would covertly discuss ways to possibly reverse her situation. Everything from recreating the circumstances behind the night she arrived to a crazy plot involving a microwave, barbells and the bathtub. Santana gave each idea, except the more dangerous sounding ones, plenty of thought and even tried a few, but nothing worked. She had even watched every single video in the box Jamie had given her over again and found nothing. Although both she and Ella searched for a solution as time went on they both became less and less enthusiastic about sending her back and after about two months they stopped entirely. Santana reasoned to herself that she was probably just plain stuck here and it was time to just settle in and prepare for Nationals.

She also got to know Violet better, the older girl was, as Puck had said, like Brittany in looks and exuberance, but different in every other way. Violet had an active imagination and for someone like that Brittany was a dream mom, the two of them could go on wild adventures without leaving their seats. Santana learned that she was viciously smart, probably a child prodigy, when it came to math and science, but rarely exhibited it in school, however from time to time she would spout out equations and calculations that were mind blowing. Ella told her that Violet didn't want to skip grades or end up in an advanced class because she liked her friends in her current grade. Santana found the girl to be immensely fun to talk to and always full of facts that, unlike the random wildly incorrect ones Brittany would say, were completely true and far above her grade level.

Santana dedicated her family time to getting Brittany and Ella on the same page, she felt she owed the girl at least that. Even though Brittany's random nature threw _her_ off most of the time she made a point of just going with the flow like Violet would. Ella, in time, learned how to follow Santana's lead and eventually she could be involved a conversation her mother was having without having to feel like a foreigner with no training in the native tongue.

The resentment she had felt in being dropped in this life faded and soon she couldn't help but be completely focused on her work and her family.

On one particular Friday morning as she was making a breakfast of steak and eggs, her phone rang she answered it to hear Puck, and his entire family in the background.

"I SAID DROP THE DAMN IRON! Hello? Santana?"

"I'm here," she laughed.

"Yo Quinn and I are banishing the kids to my mom's tonight, wanna throw your bunch in and make it a double date."

"Where are you going?"

"To see that movie that just came out, Slayers, it looks wicked awesome."

The name sent a chill down her spine, "What's it called?"

"Slayers. You want in?"

"By any chance is Miles Rowan involved with this film?"

"Who your secret billionaire lover?" he snorted, "I don't know, but given the level of the effects on this thing I wouldn't be surprised."

"Sure, Britt and I haven't been to see a movie in" _Years…_ "a while."

"Cool, movie starts at six so you are going to have to book it after practice."

"Can do."

"Alright see you th- I SAID PUT IT DOWN NOT CHASE YOUR BROTHER WITH IT!"

"Who was that?" Brittany asked as she came into the kitchen after Santana hung up.

"Puck, he invited us to see a movie with him and Quinn."

"Slayers? I hope it's Slayers!"

Was she the only one who thought this movie was a ball of suck? "That's the one."

"Can we go?" she asked softly.

"I already agreed, I'll be cutting it close with practice though."

She gave a happy squeak, "I'm so excited, it's going to be amazing."

Santana frowned, "Must be a different movie in this world."

"What?"

She shook her head, "Nothing."

Brittany stood there a while longer watching her cook before she spoke again, "Santana?"

That was the tone she took when she knew she was about to say something she would probably not like, "Yeah Britt?"

"I was wondering if maybe you had thought some more about another baby?"

The crisp sizzling of cooking meat was the only sound that could be heard for a long moment, "I hadn't really, but I mean… I think it would be kind of nice."

Brittany rewarded her with one of her smiles that made Santana's heart feel warm, "Really?"

"We would have to do a little work with the budget, but yeah I'm okay with it."

She found herself wrapped in a hug almost instantly and had to do some crafty juggling to keep the food from ending up on the floor.

* * *

Santana went through her day a little dazed, her brain was trying to grasp that she had agreed to be a parent. Being thrown into this situation was one thing, but she had just deliberately accepted the role of parent in a female/female relationship and had no intention of taking it back. It was beginning to sink in that at the bottom of all the excuses and explanations was a woman who loved another woman, she couldn't logically shove this on other Santana, this was her. Her love and lust for Brittany, her love of their children and her desire to have more. It was all her, the person who lived in Boston with a man she didn't care for in a house that was as empty as her heart, that person had been given something wonderful and she couldn't pretend she didn't want every bit of it anymore. It was too late to try and talk herself out of getting too attached, it had happened long ago. She glanced at the bracelet on her wrist and at her name that was spelled out on the block shaped beads, she was madly in love with this life.

Her introspection went unnoticed though she did make sure to shout the occasional insult to keep up appearances. Thanks to Jamie they finished practice right on time and Santana couldn't help but feel smug about how amazing the routine was. She also saw Jamie perform the move that had wrecked her leg, it was maneuver where they stacked themselves eighteen feet in the air then the Cheerio at the top jumps into a forward tumble spinning seven times before landing, on one foot, in the front center. Pure insanity. Why in the hell had she tried it? Pride no doubt.

She said goodbye to everyone and dashed to her office for her bag, she opened her door and saw the last person she ever wanted to see sitting on her desk.

"Selena. What are you doing in my office?" Santana asked warily.

The other woman shrugged casually, "I came to congratulate you on a sterling performance, I saw your practice."

 _What is she going to try and blackmail me by threatening to leak my routine? Weak._ "You just did now it's time for you to go."

"Santana I have given you space, plenty of space. That was what this was about right?"

"Wha… No it was about me being through with you!"

"We both know that is not going to happen."

"Are you an idiot? I am telling you it is!"

Selena looked at her with an expressionless stare, "Fine then," she stood and walked within arm's reach of Santana who was ready to ward off any advances, but the one that happened.

Santana's look of shock as the needle was plunged in her neck melted away as did the feeling in her limbs. Selena watched her fall to the floor, her face still emotionless, "The hard way then."

* * *

Floating, she was floating on clouds made of soft. This was wonderful. Every worry, every care was gone, they were lost in the soft clouds. She could see others here with her, Puck and Quinn actually the whole Glee club; the last place she had been happy before being thrown in a whole different reality. Even Rachel Berry was there, and her mouth wasn't running, that was nice. Then she saw Brittany and this nice floaty place got even nicer. She was drawn to her like a magnet, Santana wrapped her arms around her and kissed her, in front of everyone, for the first time in her life not caring who saw, if it mean accepting the lesbian label then so be it. Label away because she loved this woman too much to let go. Brittany kissed her back and boldly ripped her shirt open, Santana supposed she should have been embarrassed, but she knew her body was nothing to be ashamed of, though the floaty feeling was leaving and she was feeling far more grounded. Then she was aware of the ground, no more floaty clouds of soft, they vanished. As did the Glee club, but Brittany stayed. Though the ground was present and her eyes seemed to be taking only actual real data now her brain was still fuzzy, so there were a few important connections that were made late. The main one was how odd it was that she was looking at Brittany across the room and making out with her laid out on her desk at the same time, another was how off the kiss was from the Brittany that was nearest her. This Brittany wasn't doing anything for her really. Then it struck her that one of them wasn't Brittany, then her memory of what had just happened slapped her in the face.

She jerked away from the person on top of of her, it was Selena who was currently wearing a wicked smile and at the door was Brittany, the real one, looking hurt and horrified. She looked down at herself and as she feared her shirt was ripped open. She looked back at her wife in the hopes of transmitting her innocence somehow but Brittany turned and ran away looking absolutely stricken.

Santana scrambled out from under her captor, jumped off the desk on wobbly legs and fell to the ground, she could hear Selena laughing at her from above, "Well maybe she gets the picture now. Took her long enough, I called her here to come and get you half an hour ago."

Anger spurred Santana to stand and slam Selena down onto the desk, forearm pressed into the shorter woman's throat, "Don't you ever come near me or my family again or I SWEAR I will fucking murder you! I am not even slightly kidding when I say what I will do to you will make your mother cry!"

The old vengeful, violent Santana had emerged and Selena could see in her eyes she meant it, she nodded as best she could and was immediately released.

Santana turned to try and run after Brittany, but the world was still spinning, the floor was zig zagging all over the place and the walls were doing the wave. She stumbled to the parking lot, then to her car and locked herself inside, as much as she wanted to chase Brittany she knew she couldn't drive like this. She glanced at the car's clock, it was ten; great on top of it all she had stood Brittany up at the movies, this was looking worse every second. She knew she had to get home, but the world was swimming. _Maybe if I just rest for a moment_ , she thought before she tilted her head back and closed her eyes; she fell sound asleep immediately, it was the worst sleep she ever had.

After what seemed like years of the worst nap ever, she jerked awake and looked at the clock. Midnight. Shocked she looked around and saw her car was the only one left in the parking lot.

"Fuck!" she snapped and took off.

Never had she missed her Ferrari more than when she was trying to race home along the empty streets of Lima in a Honda. A good fifteen minutes later she peeled into the driveway, leapt out of the car and was about to burst in the door when it opened on its own and Puck came out.

She ignored him and tried to get inside but he blocked her, "Santana..."

"Don't Santana me Puckerman! Move!"

"She doesn't want to see you right now," he said softly.

"I know because she's got the wrong idea."

"I warned you about Selena-"

She spun on him angrily, "You warned me not to fool with her you never warned me that she was a psychotic bitch who would drug and molest me!"

"What?"

She showed him the needle mark on her neck, "That chick is batshit crazy! I didn't do anything, I have got to tell her that!"

"Look Quinn is in there with her right now, regardless of what happened she's really hurt. I get what you are saying, but now just isn't the time."

"I thought we were cool Puck!"

"We are!" he said clearly torn between doing what he had been told and helping a friend, "But Brittany doesn't want to see you now and if I let you in not only will you get nowhere but BOTH of those chicks will be pissed at me. I know it sucks! I know, but you gotta trust me on this, give her time to cool off and I swear I will get her to sit down and talk to you."

Santana ruffled her hair in frustration, Puck tried to hold her, but she shoved him away from her backing towards her car, "This is why I live by myself in Boston with a man I never see!" she yelled not caring who heard, "This is why I told her to fuck off at prom! Because this shit hurts too much! This is exactly what I built my life to avoid! I don't want this!" Now she was sobbing and she hated herself for it.

She yanked her car door threw herself inside and drove recklessly away, Puck watched her hoping she didn't do anything foolish before he could get Brittany calm again.


	5. Chapter 5

Santana drove until she was just plain tired of wasting gas, she stopped under a billboard and sat with her head slumped on the steering wheel. She couldn't believe what was happening, why was she being forced to deal with this? She had done nothing, but shun the woman's advances. On the other hand she now knew why other Santana had kept it up for so long, she probably got a look at all the crazy in her crackpot and was afraid of what Nutty McSchizo would do if she was told no. It didn't excuse it, but it did soften her to the other woman's plight. To be honest if someone had told her that the woman was a ticking time bomb she probably wouldn't have tested her either. She was becoming more and more angry with herself for ever caring in the first place. She had to get home, she had to get away from this feeling. Maybe if she was truly stuck in this world she could go to Boston and start again, the thought of all she would have to do to regain her status didn't thrill her, but going back to her house and facing Brittany thrilled her even less.

Dawn broke to find Santana still there under the same billboard, fresh off of not one single wink of sleep. She felt worse than she looked and she looked horrible, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She put the car in drive and went to work.

Luckily she had left her duffel bag so there was a change of clothes waiting for her in her office. She got dressed and threw herself into a day of nonstop work. She pushed the girls to the point of exhaustion even Jamie had to stop for a moment to keep from vomiting. She almost wished Selena would corner her again so she would have someone to physically take her aggression out on, unfortunately she had the good sense to stay far away from Santana.

At lunch she sat at her desk harshly marking essays titled, 'Why I Shouldn't Be Cut From the Team' when she received a text.

**Took the day off of work and talked her down, told you I had your back. Now it's your turn to make it alright.**

**-Knuck if you Puck**

She stared at the text feeling her mind race; Was this it? Was this the thing that could send her home? If she could straighten this out could it get her back in her penthouse? She stood and almost sprinted to the locker room to find Eric, he was in his office preening in a small mirror on his desk.

"I have to go, cover my classes okay!" she said and left before he could answer.

She was in her car and back home in record time, but the moment she got to the door she realized she had no idea what to say. For about five minutes she stood there trying to think about how to approach it and decided on innocence, _she_ hadn't done anything. It was a partial truth and Brittany would believe mostly anything so with that settled she opened the door.

The house was dark and quiet, the only sounds were the quiet sniffs and sobs from Brittany who was sitting at the table in the dining room, her hands clenched in her lap and her head bowed as tears slid quietly down.

Santana took a seat next to her and was lost as to how to approach this all over again.

"Britt?" she said cautiously, it only made her cry harder, "Brittany, I… I know what that looked like when you were in my office, but…"

"Don't," she said, "I know I'm not that smart, but I know what I saw."

"She drugged me! I swear look she stuck a damn needle in my neck," Santana pleaded showing her the still visible mark.

"You were kissing her Santana."

"I thought she was you! I also thought I was floating on clouds with the Glee club, I was tripping big time on who knows what! That woman is certifiably insane!"

Brittany then looked at her with sad eyes, "Have you ever slept with her?"

The directness of the question took Santana aback, no _she_ hadn't but then again if she had lived this life like other Santana she apparently would have. She remembered apologizing to Ella on behalf of the other her and she couldn't come up with any reason it wasn't warranted here as well. The idea of taking the fall for this appealed to her about as much as putting her hand down the garbage disposal, but maybe, just maybe this was the answer. Perhaps the only way out was to face this.

"Brittany I'm _so_ sorry," she said surprised at how broken her voice was.

She turned her head away again, more tears fell, "Why? What did I do wrong?"

Santana wished more than anything that her heart would stop hurting so much every time it beat, she wanted her lungs to stop constricting, and she badly wanted the tears that were in her eyes not to fall, "You didn't do anything, I just failed you, I didn't live up to my promise to make you happy. I fucked up bad and I couldn't be more sorry."

"This really hurts Santana…it kind of makes me wish I didn't love you so much," she sobbed.

It was everything she had never wanted to hear from her, the tears fell even though she tried to will them away.

Distraught eyes lifted slightly, "Do you love her?"

"I don't even like her, and it's over, I promise."

"You break your promises."

Santana took her hand tenderly, "I wish I could take this back more than anything in the world, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I will make this up to you I swear."

Brittany moved to Santana's lap and hugged her crying in a hopeless way that made Santana feel even worse. She held her close and tried to exude love and comfort; there was nothing more for her to say now.

Once Brittany had calmed down she rested her head on Santana's shoulder and played idly with her hair, "What if she drugs you again?" she asked quietly.

"If she is foolish enough to show herself in front of me again she will be lucky not to get knocked out, but I'll be on my guard. If she gets out of hand I'll just switch schools."

"Really? You would leave the Cheerios?"

"For you? In a heartbeat."

Her arms wrapped around Santana's neck again and she held her tight, "I love you," and it was said more like she regretted it than as an actual declaration.

"I love you too," Santana replied feeling the emotion and futilely trying to deny the truth of it at the same time.

They held each other silently until it was time to go pick up Ella and Violet. Santana was not sent back home that night despite having, a least in part, dealt with the affair. Watching Brittany, Ella, and Violet having a political discussion about the military effectiveness of the Power Rangers, she found she was involuntarily glad she was still around.

* * *

"She's still pretty torn up about the whole thing," said Quinn.

Santana sighed, they had been sitting in silence until now on a blanket, which was all that was left of their weekend picnic, watching Puck and Brittany play with the kids. It had been a week since the incident and she had felt confident that any mention of Selena or the affair would have been off the topic menu, clearly she had been wrong.

"I'm not surprised," her ire rising at the pain the memory brought up, "It plain sucks when someone you trust cheats on you, but hey at least I didn't get pregnant."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That bullshit big bitch on campus thing, are you really going to bring up Finn as a comeback?"

Great now she felt heartbroken and childish, "Why are we even talking about this?" she snapped.

"Because your random ridiculous decisions put everyone in a shit spot Santana."

Now her blood was boiling, "Please Quinn, please tell me how my affair involving my family involves you."

Santana hadn't seen the 'You should know this' look in a while, "How…? You tell Noah a woman drugged and molested you in a plot to hurt Brittany, one that worked by the way, and you think he was just going to let that go? When we left your house that night the only reason he didn't go to that woman's house and break her legs was because he didn't know where she lived. It took hours to talk him out of breaking into the school so he could pull her file and find her and I'm not sure he still isn't planning something."

She looked over at Puck who was currently out in the grass spinning Ella and Caleb around as they hung on to his arms laughing hysterically. She suddenly felt a rush of affection for her friend, of course he had tried to do something ridiculous like that and she was thankful for him all over again.

"Well was I not supposed to tell him?"

"You could have gone to the police."

She snorted, "And tell them I was attacked for no reason? And then Selena turns herself in and everything is solved? Not going to happen, I rattle her cage and she will tell everyone exactly why she did what she did, she has already proven her willingness to blab. She will claim it was some sort of game or was consensual and it will be my word versus hers. Not that it would even matter because by then the school knows and then the town knows."

"Right, wouldn't want everyone to know you're a cheater best to keep it under wraps."

"Now who's not thinking broad enough? If that happens Brittany's publically humiliated and so are Ella and Violet, and even though everyone here has probably slipped up at one time or another because we're lesbians, with the added bonus of being in Ohio, the whole thing is going to be that much worse. I don't think they deserve that even in the slightest do you?"

"I can see your point."

"It plain sucks, but I have to handle this alone."

"No, I told Noah to keep away from an assault and battery charge, but he's been pulling double shifts at work so he can send his usual bar tenders to keep an eye on things. Like a muscle head secret service, well not so secret, they have been following her in plain sight for a while, but I hear she is getting the message."

Santana laughed, "And you let him?"

She gave a mischievous grin, "It was my idea."

"I'm surprised you would do that for me."

"It's not just for you, someone like that could hurt Brittany, Ella or Violet just because, but… I still would have done it if you were the only one in danger," she admitted grudgingly.

There was another long silence where they watched Puck pick up Brittany and spin her until she was too dizzy to walk. For some reason this appealed to the children as they all clamored to be next.

"Seriously you should talk to her," Quinn started again.

"I did!" she shouted and then immediately lowered her voice, "I did. We talked and, I mean she is obviously still upset, why wouldn't she be, but she just needs time."

''No, she needs you to do something."

"How would you even know?"

"She told me."

Santana was surprised by this at first then had to concede it made sense, they were both housewives and friends since high school, it would be weirder if they didn't talk, "Well what am I supposed to do? I told her how sorry I was and that's not much, but what else is there?"

"I don't know and she doesn't either."

A confused scowl came over her face, "Then why bring it up?"

"Weren't you guys planning on another baby?"

"Yes," She wasn't sure why, but admitting that out loud to Quinn made her a little bashful.

"Do you think she wants to now?"

She looked over at Brittany who was sitting in the grass trying to regain her balance while watching Puck spin Joseph and Abby around. She had a small smile on her face, one that flickered when Santana caught her eye, the feeling that rose up in her at that made her want to get up and just walk back to Boston.

"No."

"Then fix it."

"How? Seriously Quinn how do I fix it? I can't make anyone's pain go away I can barely manage mine," she said snatching some grass and shredding it in frustration.

"Like I said I have no idea, but since tomorrow is Sunday we can take Violet and Ella tonight and you can work it out."

"And what if nothing works?"

"Then you are rightly screwed," seeing the look of panic on Santana's face she elaborated, "I don't think that will happen if you sit down with her and talk this over. Remember from her point of view you guys were just starting to work things out; you and Ella were getting along, you revived your sex life," Santana tried not to die of embarrassment, _What DOESN'T she tell Quinn?_ "you had finally agreed to another baby and next thing she knows there is this other woman who somehow stole you away. She has no idea when this started or for how long it went on so she can't even pin down where it was that she started to lose you."

"She never lost me! I told her that."

"Clearly at some point she did Santana."

She sat scowling on the blanket, the only person she wanted to punch in the face more than Selena was the other Santana.

* * *

Santana wanted badly to go home, to her far away home where there was none of this drama to face. Even if there was drama there she could hop on a plane to anywhere in the world anytime she wanted and just leave it all behind. Instead she was following Brittany into their house that they shared in Lima, where they were left alone to work out their issues and there was nowhere to run to, they really couldn't afford plane tickets to anywhere since almost all of their extra cash was saved away for the girls' college fund. Thinking about that caused her to pinch the bridge of her nose, thoughts like that just pressed upon her how far away her old life really was.

Before Brittany could disappear somewhere, as she had taken to doing lately when they found themselves alone, Santana caught her wrist, "Britt wait."

She turned, reluctantly, "Yeah?" she asked looking more at the floor than Santana.

She took a deep breath, "Can we talk?"

"I don't really want to."

 _Boy do I know the feeling!_ "Do you still want to have a baby?"

"I don't think now would be a good time," she said looking away completely.

 _Thought so_ , "What can I say to make you change your mind?"

"Why would you want to? Since you never even wanted the ones we have."

The ice in her tone made Santana let her go, "I… I never-"

"I just wanted us to have a family and I'm sorry I made you. I won't bother you with it anymore."

"Don't shut me out like that! How can we possibly get past this if you do that?"

"Santana I don't even know what we're getting past! I have no idea what this affair was even about!"

"I was being an idiot I told you that!"

"But why? You never told me _why_ you did it. Did you really just see her and decide you wanted to sleep with her or were you mad at me and she was nearby? What was it?"

Given what Selena had said to her it was probably a combination of the two, "I was feeling boxed in and frustrated with life and I did something stupid and hurtful. I wasn't thinking clearly obviously because if I had been I would never have done this to you."

"What's to keep you from feeling boxed in again?"

"It won't happen again. Period."

Brittany clearly wanted to believe everything she said, but her face was still filled with the pain of betrayal and Santana felt the uncomfortable wiggle in her stomach that came with telling the truth. Truths she had gone to lengths to try and bury.

"I know you have no reason to take my word for anything, all I can do is hope our time together has given you the ability to know when I am really trying to reach you. I love you, more than anything and just because I forgot that at some point doesn't mean it stopped being true. I don't want to lose you Britt, I have no idea why I did what I did, but it wasn't about you it was about me, because I'm selfish, I always have been, and you know that. I thought I needed more than I had because I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve you. There is no amount of sorry that I can be that will make this okay, I can't erase this, but I want to try. I want to keep my promise to make you happy. I love Ella and Violet, and yes I was reluctant to be a parent at first, but they are a part of me I wouldn't want to live without. I want to have another baby with you, I want everything that being with you means," she had meant every word of it and suspected, despite their differences, what she had said was also true for other Santana.

There was silence as her words settled in the room, Brittany moved closer and took Santana's hands in her own, "I want that too."

She knew she was pushing her luck but she pulled Brittany into a hug, "You have always been everything I needed, I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason to cry."

"Let's move past being sorry," she said kissing her eagerly, a kiss that soon led to Santana's shirt being on the floor.

Santana couldn't pretend not to be interested in where this could lead, but she backed off anyway, "Um, are you sure you don't want some time before…"

Brittany gave her a look that was almost challenging, "You don't want to?"

"If you are sure you want to I'm definitely game I just feel like you might be forcing yourself."

"I might be a little bit," she said as she guided Santana to the couch and shoved her down with a force that shocked the other woman, "But honestly it bothers me more that _she_ was the last person to touch you."

Santana momentarily considered pointing out that Selena hadn't gotten that far the last time, however as Brittany straddled her waist and pinned her hands above her head she felt that the information should be classified 'Irrelevant'.

* * *

Soon Nationals were upon them and Santana had her squad working harder than ever, Jamie had shown her the ropes and now she had the reins. She felt she had fully integrated with other Santana, and she found that despite her earlier relapses in and out of wanting to flee she was really happy. For the first time she realized that the pain she was so determined to avoid came with the flipside of joy, the bumpy parts of her relationships were dwarfed by what she felt for her family and friends. Time had healed the wounds that Santana had been sure would never go away, Brittany's ability to truly put the past behind her was baffling, as was how much she still trusted her. A trust Santana was now doggedly determined to never even appear to betray. Especially now that Brittany was making regular doctors visits, having once again decided that she was ready for another child. Of course this news had come with an off the cuff offer to help from Puck and that had come with a slap to the back of the head from Quinn.

Her main concerns now were spies from Sue's school that would come slinking around occasionally and the ever growing nervousness about facing said woman at the competition. This win would tie her with Sue's record and although she had told herself for the longest that she didn't care if they won or not she really, really wanted to win.

During one of many practices after school Puck showed up, he looked quite out of place as he sat on the bleachers and watched the routine they were perfecting. For a brief crazy moment she thought he might have been enlisted as a spy, but then got a grip. She walked over to where he sat and viewed her squad from there.

"I thought you were into older women."

He chuckled, "I'm into all types of women, but I'm not trying to get arrested."

"So what brings you here if not the schools supply of jail bait?"

"Oh my mom popped by for a visit, I saw her car in front of the house so I just kept going."

"And you left Quinn there with the kids?"

"Whatever she did the same thing to me last month," he sniggered.

She lifted her megaphone and yelled, "I guess if you aren't doing anything you think you could show me how a real Salchow looks?"

"You really are back in fighting form."

"Took a while, but I got there."

"So scale of one to ten how confident are you about winning?"

 _Negative four_ , "Eleven."

"That's my girl!"

Just then a random question came to mind, "Puck, how was Slayers?"

He gave her a sideways look, "Absolute waste of life, even Brittany hated it and you know how she loves stupid movies with tons of blood, but this…it was devastatingly bad."

"Thought so," she lifted her megaphone again, "I really am waiting to be wowed ladies and gentlemen!"

"Cut them some slack they look awesome out there."

"And the minute they think that they get lazy, but you're right I think Lorenzo's ear is bleeding. Okay that's all for today!"

There was a collective sigh of relief as the members of the Cheerios helped each other off the football field like they were collecting the survivors of a civil war.

Puck stood and joined her as she grabbed her things from the bleachers, "You and Brittany are getting on ok right?"

"Yeah we're good."

"No trouble from the mayor of Crazy Town?"

She smiled at him, "She's been keeping her distance, that has a lot to do with you I assume."

He looked surprised, "You knew?"

"Quinn told me you were having her followed."

"Oh, yeah, that was just to make sure she didn't try and jump you after work. I would have done it myself, but I have to watch the little ones most days so I just got the guys at work to take the task, in return I worked their shifts and paid them their regular wages to watch her after hours. I am a little proud of my time management skills."

"It's good to know you didn't do anything too extreme," she snorted, walking at his side to her car.

A shifty look crossed his face, "I also put cement mix in her gas tank so she's been taking the bus to work."

"Are you serious?" she laughed.

"I couldn't just let her off scot free after the shit she pulled."

"Good to know you're on my side."

"Always."

They arrived at her vehicle and gave him a brief hug goodbye, "Heading home to face the music?"

"Naw not for a while, I'll probably stop by the pool hall or something. Quinn'll be fine, she is a much stronger person than my mom thinks she is."

He waved as he headed back to his car, and Santana marveled at the genuine affection that had been in his eyes when had spoken of Quinn. It made her think of her Puck back in Boston, she wished very much that he could find someone who made him look that way.

Santana drove home with the competition on her mind so when she opened the door she didn't expect to be bowled over by an overexcited Brittany.

"What the-"

Her face was alight with excitement "I'm pregnant!"

"Are you sure?" she asked not knowing if, despite the fact that they had two children already, she really knew how to tell.

"I'm positive I went to the doctor today."

"So you really are pregnant?" she said slowly trying to let it soak in.

"Yes! I had to hold it in all day I wanted you to be the first to know!"

"I'm gonna be a double big sister," said Violet joining them from the living room having heard her mother's exclamation.

Ella followed, "Great I hear nothing, but good things about middle children," she said sarcastically.

"Don't be like that Ella," Brittany pleaded.

Santana just stood frozen, trying to figure out why this was such a shock, not only did she already know they were trying to have a baby, but they had two kids already what was the big deal? She had no idea, but the thought of a baby thrilled and terrified her.

"But you're excited right?" Brittany suddenly asked her, nervous anticipation on her face.

She scooped her up in a hug, "Of course!" a 100% half true answer.

* * *

In a weeks time not only did all of their family and friends know, they had already planned a baby shower at the Pierce's. Like the Christmas party she had been to before it was full of people she knew little about, but this time she didn't have to fumble her way through it, she recalled some names, but wasn't nervous about those she didn't. She mingled and accepted the congratulations of the guests for a few hours, but after a while Santana escaped to the basement as Puck had taught her. In the seclusion of the small room she sat watching television; only in the sense that her eyes were facing the set, she was taking none of it in. One the one hand she was genuinely ecstatic about this development and on the other she was still scared silly. She had balanced the budget for another child, but what if she got hurt again and couldn't work? Or what if Violet or Ella got sick? Then she relaxed remembering that Puck, Quinn, her mother and the Pierce's were a part of her family as well. She, for the first time ever, knew that no matter what happened she wouldn't be left alone to struggle. It would all be okay, it would all work out. Commercials flashed all kinds of products she wasn't interested in as she stared ahead, one after the other, so it wasn't an image that snapped her out of her thoughts it was a voice.

"So I see you have finally come to understand yourself," said a man on the television in a slow deliberate voice.

She looked up to see what she knew, and feared, would be there; a strong face, striking pale green eyes and snowy white hair.

"No," she said a cold terror taking over.

The man looked amused, "It took you longer than I thought, but you got there. You fought for your lies to yourself to the bitter end, felt good to let 'em go didn't it?"

"Please don't."

"I'm afraid it's time to go home."

She jumped off the recliner and knelt in front of the TV trying to ascertain if the man could hear her, "Don't do this, please don't send me back! There is nothing for me there!"

"You had what you wanted, don't want it anymore? Get what you want."

"You can't do this! You can't just put me here and make me work like a dog for a life I can't have!" she shouted feeling light headed with despair.

"You have until tonight," he said with a smile and the television went dark.

She clutched the screen as if he had merely retreated out of frame and she could somehow still reach him. "You can't send me back! I have to be here for Brittany and the baby! I have to be here for Violet and Ella! I can't just leave!" she screamed.

Silence followed and she sank to the floor all happiness drained. She had no idea how long she had been there when the door above opened and someone came down as stood next to her slumped form, it was Ella.

Seeing the look of hopelessness on Santana's face made her understand that her worst fear come true, "You have to go don't you?"

Santana nodded, her body feeling like it belonged to someone else, which was fitting since her life did.

The girl knelt down and leaned against her, "I don't want you to go," her voice betraying that she was crying even though she was wiping the tears away furiously.

"I don't want me to either," she replied numbly. 

"My Santana doesn't like me." Ella whimpered.

Santana put an arm around her, "Don't worry, I already told her secret so she has no reason to be mean to you."

"I still like you better."

"Thanks," she said and stood, "Come on lets go be with everyone else."

Ella rubbed her face dry with her shirt and followed Santana up the stairs, Quinn was in the kitchen reading a text on her phone when she saw them emerge.

"So that's where you got to, I should have known. Brittany is looking for you, she's out back with your mom," the blonde said and she nodded turning to go meet to the back porch when Quinn stopped her, "Santana are you okay?"

"Yes," she said in a tone that said No.

Quinn watched her leave and went immediately to find Puck.

Outside she saw Brittany talking with Carla and Violet about the baby, Santana sat next to Brittany and focused on trying not to look dead. Ella sat as close as she could, holding onto Santana's arm as if to keep her there in their world. Puck came out with his guitar, the boys, Abby and Quinn and they sang for a while, after a bit Brittany's parents joined them and it was picturesque in a way Santana found heartbreaking.

When it got late and the last of the guest left, Quinn herded the kids into their car and Brittany put a sleeping Violet and a reluctant Ella in hers. Santana was loading the shower gifts into the trunk when Puck pulled her to the side.

"Quinn told me you were acting kind of down, now I know you know that I'm here to talk to you whenever you need it, but I swore I would say something to you so, this is me doing as I was told because she can be scary. On a serious note I think you look a little worn out cause of this baby thing, just go home, sleep on it and call me in the morning if you still feel bumed," he said and returned to his car.

Santana watched him go and wished that she could tell him what was bothering her, but he wouldn't understand. She turned to see Ella watching her like she might run away, she gave her a weak half smile, returned to the car and drove them home.

While Brittany prepared for bed Santana tucked an already sleeping Violet in and sat next to Ella's bed.

"Will you ever come back?" she asked, her voice low and shaky.

"I don't think so," she said feeling the weight of what that meant.

"I'm scared. What if it wasn't what I saw? What if she just hates me?" her voice sounded downright stricken.

Santana rubbed her arm comfortingly, "We are the same person really. Just look for me in her okay? I'm there, I have a heart and you are a great kid, I can't help but like you."

"Okay," she said her voice much more steady.

Santana stayed by her side, holding her hand in silence until Ella drifted off to sleep. Afterwards she rose, gave the girls a gentle kiss goodbye, and left their room, for what she knew would be the last time.

Brittany was in her night clothes looking at herself in the full length mirror by the bed, examining her still trim waistline, "I can't wait until I get to meet her…or him."

Santana grabbed her arm and pulled her down onto the bed where she just held her silently, leaving Brittany a little alarmed.

"San are you okay?"

"I want to stay here with you forever," her sorrow made her words difficult to say.

Brittany sat up and looked down at her, "I'm not going anywhere," she said consolingly.

Santana reached up and pulled her down into a deep kiss, Brittany returned it easily. She let her hands roam Brittany's body in the hopes of memorizing the feel of it, she tried to hold onto the memory of the sounds she made, the feel of her most intimate parts, the sounds of them moving together, of her climax. Santana wanted to keep all of it with her.

Afterwards Brittany almost immediately drifted off to sleep, but Santana stayed awake in the dark, her head resting on Brittany's chest, hand placed on her stomach. She'd had less than a week to get used to the idea of the baby, yet it seemed like years ago that she was told. She pressed her palm gently on the firm skin of Brittany's belly wishing she too could meet the child that was growing there. Through the darkness she could see her bracelet laying softly on her wrist, her name written in white stood out at her in the dark. For some reason this made her eyes water and the tears flowed onto Brittany as she felt the pull of unnatural sleep.

"I don't want to go," she cried weakly in a tone barely above a whisper.

Her eyes closed and she slept better than she ever had in her entire life.

* * *

Santana awoke with a start, she jumped up, tripped over her own feet and landed on a soft couch… in her penthouse. She looked around and saw everything as she left it. She stood again, this time with sure footing, and dashed to the DVD player; there was nothing in it. She searched all over for the case and came up with nothing, in anger she threw pillows and couch cushions and only succeeded in finding five dollars. The mysterious case was nowhere to be found, there wasn't even a gap from where it had been on the shelf. From out of the window Santana saw the Christmas decorations still up. It was Christmas Day? Hadn't she been gone for the better part of a year?

She turned on the television to find that she had indeed only slept through the past few hours.

Had she dreamed it all? Well the more she thought about it the more sense that made. Her mother being okay with her being married to a woman, Puck and Quinn, her being Sue Sylvester Mach II…but it had felt so real…

She shoved a cushion back on the couch and sat on it trying to understand when she felt a light tug on her wrist. She looked and there, as real as anything in her apartment, was a bracelet made out of sky blue beads that spelled out her name.

Her hand flew over her mouth; it had been real, every moment of it.

Again she rocketed out of her seat and ran for her phone, she found herself searching her call list for Knuck if you Puck, but eventually found his name. She danced in impatience as the phone rang and after about four rings his chipper voice answered.

"Merry Christmas," he said in the way of a greeting.

"Puck! I'm leaving Miles. I'm sorry I won't be able to get you that role, but trust me it's for the best it's going to be a disaster!"

"What? Wait hold it, what are you talking about?"

She was far to wired to slow down, "Listen to me carefully, I know back when we were in school you gave up on Quinn, but you need to try again. She's a lawyer in New York, you need to get down there ASAP cause you are one lonely bastard without her."

"Santana how high are you? I thought you were gonna relax holistically I see you went chemical."

"I am not high Puck! I'm serious, find Quinn make it priority number one. You guys are great together."

"Uh-huh, I thought you hated her…"

"I do. Right now, but I think you could mellow her out."

"And while I'm charming Miss Fabray what will you be up to?"

"I have to find Brittany."

He was silent for a moment, "You serious?"

"As a heart attack. I'm going to find her and I am going to make us right. I have to make us right and I have to do it now, I'm already ten years late."

"What the hell happened to you last night?"

"A lifetime," she said staring at her bracelet.

* * *

Pop n' Lock was a small dance studio in Miami, it was run by Mike Chang, who took a lot of pride in it. In addition to offering dance lessons they regularly put on performances for the community which, to his surprise, turned out to be quite profitable. There were a wealth of dancers who passed through, but one person stayed and helped boost the reputation of the small studio; Brittany Pierce.

She danced like few had ever seen and though she regularly received job offers from bigger studios and dance companies she never left. Mike often felt that he was keeping her back, but she would never listen when he suggested she work elsewhere.

Fresh off the high that was winter break Brittany was walking down the busy street that ran right in front of studio eager to start work again, she arrived to find Mike waiting for her at the door.

"Hey Mike! What's up?"

He looked at her seriously, "We have a potential investor."

She frowned, "That's good right? Investors are a good thing I thought."

"They are…"

"How much are they putting in?"

"A whole lot, far more than I could hope to make on a good year, but the thing is she has a condition."

"To see us dance?" she said hopeful, "Because if that's the case it's in the bag."

"No she wants to talk. To you. Just you."

Brittany felt uneasy, talking usually gave people a bad impression of her, "About what?"

"Anything I guess. I was told you don't have to do anything or even be polite, just meet with her."

She smiled, "That sounds easy."

"She's in there now."

Her smile faded, "But I'm not dressed for a big investor meeting."

"I'm actually sure she doesn't care, look I should warn you… the investor is Santana."

Her smile left entirely.

* * *

Santana looked around the small yet somehow cozy studio her heart slamming around in her chest. It had been easy to find Brittany, it had been shockingly easy to leave her penthouse and everything in it, even the car. She had broken up with Miles over the phone, he had hardly seemed surprised and he certainly hadn't cared, she was pretty sure she heard him talking to her possible replacement before she hung up. She had more money than she ever needed since she hadn't spent a dime in ages so moving to Florida and buying a new everything was beyond simple. Standing here in this studio and waiting to face Brittany, her Brittany, the one whose heart she had shattered into a million pieces, _that_ was hard. She didn't understand why she had to take care of both of these issues, shouldn't other Santana have to deal with this?

The sound of footsteps prompted her to turn around and see the person she had waited for, and when she saw her she immediately understood how Ella knew she was an impostor. The other Brittany had soft, trusting eyes full of hope and innocence, her Brittany's eyes were apprehensive and guarded.

"Hi," she said as a lame opener.

"Why do you want to talk to me Santana?"

"I wanted to apologize for starters."

"For what?"

She shrugged, "For me, for how I acted."

"That was forever ago and now you want to come and say you're sorry?"

"Yes."

She stared unblinking for a moment clearly trying to work out the angle in all this, "So you want to invest in the studio?"

"I do. You and Mike are amazing dancers, it's a good buy."

"Are you sure you want to associate with an outright lesbian like me?" she asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Definitely since I'm an outright lesbian myself."

That took her by surprise, "What?"

"I made a huge mistake when I rejected you, and I only recently understood how big it was. I need you, you are everything I'm not and should be. Honestly the best part of me has always been you and I was such a chicken I tried to hide that from everyone, even myself. It feels like it's my destiny to hurt others when I'm insecure. I am also fully aware that showing up out of nowhere and coming into your life after what I did isn't going to make you love me or even like me, but I would like for you to give me another chance."

Brittany's face was unreadable, "You think Miles will be happy with you using his money to come after me?"

Her mouth fell open, "How did you know about Miles?"

"Just because you stopped caring doesn't mean I did."

She grinned at her, this Brittany wasn't that different after all, "I broke up with Miles and I moved out here. To find you."

"And what if I turn you down? Will you take back the offer?"

"No, I only asked that you talk to me and you've done that. If you turn me down I guess I'll be single in Florida pining after you, but don't expect to be rid of me that easily."

"Santana I have always loved you, but I can't go through something like that again. We already did this, where you say you want to be with me then you don't, and I never know when you are going to change your mind. It hurts to love someone who doesn't want anyone to know they love you back. At prom…I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life, not even when I got hit by a car at lacrosse camp. I do want to be with you, but it's really terrifying the way you can be sometimes. You didn't even look back you just broke my heart and left for good."

This was harder to face than anything else she'd had to deal with, more than Ella or dealing with the whole Selena debacle, this was her mistake made by stupid decisions she had made, knowing she had purposefully caused this was difficult to swallow, "I know I did, but I am not that person. She was scared of you, of us and everything that had to do with it, I am not as a matter of fact I look forward to it."

"Prove it."

She was at a loss, "How?"

Brittany moved across the room determinedly and grabbed Santana's hand leading her through the studio and out the front doors where Mike was still standing, now startled by the sound of Brittany bursting through them. He looked back and forth between the women trying to get a read on the situation, but between Brittany's defiant stare and Santana's confused look he was totally lost.

The blonde towed her confused companion into the middle of the sidewalk with her, deliberately in the way of people traveling both ways and looked at Santana with a bold stare, "If you are so different then kiss me, here, now in front of everyone."

Clearly she had expected Santana to shy away from such a public display, to mutter excuses and back off. Instead she found herself pulled into a deep passionate kiss that left no doubt in her mind that everything Santana had said she meant. Unprepared for what happened or how it made every part of her weak Brittany returned the kiss with interest.

Mike slid next to them clearing his throat gently, "So uh, glad to see you two made up, but erm you are drawing a bit of a crowd," he said softly.

Brittany was the first to come up for air and noticed that he was right and thoroughly didn't care, Santana was staring at her with an intensity she had never seen in her before. The fear that she would leave again seemed silly under her gaze, there standing in the middle of the sidewalk surrounded by strangers she felt the most loved she had ever been.

Santana wrapped her arms around the woman she knew she never wanted to let go of and said the words she wished she had said ten years ago, "I can't promise to be everything you deserve, but I will try harder than I have ever tried at anything to make you happy."

Tears of joy filled Brittany's eyes as she kissed Santana again feeling somehow whole for the first time in a long time.

Mike cleared his throat again, "Ummm… that guy just hit a fire hydrant, maybe you could take this inside?"

* * *

**One year later…**

Santana hated carnivals, literally everything about them irritated her, however the look of elation that would overcome Brittany at even the mention of one was how she found herself on the boardwalk waiting patiently by a stall covered in ludicrously happy stuffed animals. Her chest was twisted into a million knots as she looked around for the tall blonde and fiddling with the engagement ring in her pocket. She already knew that Brittany loved her, and she had even lived as her wife for a while yet she still felt like her guts were wriggling every time the thought of how to propose came up. Sick of the stuffed animals she wandered to another nearby stall that was selling picture frames all filled with various people at the carnival in various stages of merriment. Santana looked them over to waste time and was about to move on when she saw one that didn't fit, the setting wasn't on the boardwalk, it wasn't even in Florida. The people in it were in a park having a celebration of some kind. The picture seemed to have been taken at a distance and most of the people were blurry or out of the shot, there were several forms she could make out and at first she couldn't believe her eyes. It was Ella and she was laughing happily holding onto a woman she thought she would never see; the other Santana was there smiling genuinely back at her daughter. The other Brittany was there as well sitting with Violet watching them lovingly holding an infant. Shocked she looked to the stall's vendor to see a man with a strong face, striking pale green eyes, and snowy white hair.

It was him, he was here.

She stared at him for a moment not knowing what to say, "How…Wait where did…"

He smiled at her and gave her a sly wink.

"Santana!"

Startled she turned to see Brittany racing towards her, followed by Quinn and Puck, quickly she turned back to the stall to find she was standing next to nothing, the stall, the vendor, even the picture she had been holding were gone.

Brittany finally reached her, her joyous mood dampened when she saw the confusion on Santana's face, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah I…" she pointed to the empty space not knowing how to explain herself, "I saw someone I knew."

"Oh do I know them too?" she asked looking off into the distance to try and spot the person.

"I hope you will," she said, thinking of the children in the picture.

Brittany clearly didn't get it, but smiled anyway, "Just so you know Puck is like crazy nervous about this date."

She cast a glance at her friend to see him in the midst of chatting anxiously to Quinn, she could tell by his posture that he was indeed incredibly nervous, for her part Quinn looked amused and charmed. He had needed further prodding to look her up, but eventually did and though it seemed like his movie star attitude would ruin everything for a while they eventually hit it off. Santana had gone out of her way to be nice to Quinn so when she invited them to stay with her and Brittany for a much needed vacation there would be no rejecting it. The two of them had only been on about two official dates before this day and it was almost adorable the way he was around her. Seeing them this way she felt like the life she left suddenly wasn't that far away. She gave a fleeting glance to the area where the stall had been and couldn't help but feel thankful that she had gotten the chance to see that it had all worked out for her one time family, especially Ella.

Santana glanced down at the blue bracelet she wore even now, despite the fact Puck liked to tease her for it, and remembered all she had been through. It had given her courage through every step of her relationship, from telling her mother about her and Brittany to buying the ring that was currently burning a hole in her pocket. It reminded her of all the things that could be… no _should_ be. Now she needed to draw the strength to ask the question she felt pretty sure she knew the answer to.

"What are you thinking about?" Brittany asked holding onto her arm and pulling her close.

"About us… having a long future together. If, you know… that's something you would want."

Brittany laughed in a way that made Santana's heart flutter, "Of course," she said kissing her gently on the shoulder, "All you have to do is ask."

The End (sorta)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few parting questions for those wondering, as I have been asked these questions before:
> 
> 1) Yes the movie this is based off of is 'The Family Man' with Nicholas Cage.
> 
> 2) Who was the guy who flipped Santana's life? I dunno I mean for the sake of the story I never felt it was relevant, Christmas Magic Man I guess. For the purposes of this story he is a mystery. Privately I like to think of him as a Time Lord that lived before the The Last Great Time War cause I'm a Dr. Who nerd...
> 
> 3) Where was the other Santana? THE TARDIS! No seriously I don't know ask Christmas Magic Man.
> 
> 4) Knuck if you Puck? There is a rap song called Knuck if you Buck... it seemed logical to me...
> 
> 5) This isn't a question just some things I want to clarify. I gave the other Santana a lot of thought before I wrote the other one into her life, however these notes wouldn't fit with the flow of the story, it's not relevant its just FYI. The other Santana never disliked Ella it was more like when she was around her she felt intense shame and when Ella would push her it came out as aggression, she stopped sleeping with Brittany for the same reason she was ashamed of what she was doing and didn't think she deserved to be with her. She did cheat on Brittany once of her own volition, but after that Selena began to unveil her crazy and began a long unwanted relationship that had Santana breaking down, especially since she couldn't share it with Puck because it was too embarrassed though he clearly could tell something was going on.
> 
> 6) This story is actually one part of a trilogy I'll upload the rest when I get the chance.


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